Falling Flowers and Wind and Rain Hurt the Spring Even More

I don't know how many weeks I have been here, but I always walk around in a daze. At night, I go back to the little inn and sleep in the dark little room. ——When have I ever suffered such a sin? I am unfamiliar with the place here, and there are no communication tools to contact my parents and friends. Moreover, my money is almost running out. What should I do? In a few days, let alone a small room, I won't even have the money to sleep on a bed on the floor. I finally checked out the room. ——Why do I have to be in such a miserable state this time? Could it be that I was a heinous evil in my previous life, so in this life I am forced to experience all kinds of suffering in the world? I could only leave that home—that small inn—with my solitary luggage and my solitary figure. That was my first home in this city and my first home in this space. Unfortunately, I am not a homebody. In the end, I have to leave this banquet, and I still have to throw myself into this world like a prodigal son without any regrets, even if there are thousands of difficulties and dangers, even if there are... No, I'm not afraid, I really am not afraid... Dusk is the most beautiful time of the day, the only drawback is that it is short. I like to watch the sun gradually turn red and then disappear into layers of light clouds. I like to see the shy look of flowers before they bloom. I like to see the dead vines on the frozen river. I have to admit that my aesthetics are indeed somewhat different, but I can no longer change this, and I once felt an inexplicable happiness for being so "special"... ——Where should I go? Going home? But where is home? Although this is also Jiangnan, where is home? I blame myself for not studying geography and history well, but I also know that even if I study well, I won't be able to "go home". I don't want to show how helpless, how sad, and how homesick I am. Even if what I said above comes from my heart, I am powerless to change everything in front of me. ——Where should I spend the night? Do you want to go to a small temple and sleep on a bed made of straw like in the TV series? ——No, I don't want it. Say nothing. I'm scared, really scared. In the past, although there were things a thousand times sadder and sadder than this at home, I was never afraid. Because at least there is always a small corner where I can rest, where I can always find a sense of security in time. But now, what do I have? In the vast sea of ​​people, how many strange figures are there, how many indifferent eyes are there, how many souls are as confused as mine? "I want to go back." This is the first time I really shout out my inner desire. It should be a happy moment to blurt out words that have been suppressed for several days, but where does the sadness start? Finally, the moon still rose above the Western Mountain, and it was also the time when "fish sellers dispersed". I was still at a loss and at a loss. He wanted to cry, but suddenly thought of someone and raised the corners of his mouth with difficulty. ——You must not know that I am actually in your era. The only regret is that I didn't have the chance to see you, but you were already haggard. You are my sweetheart, but you will never be able to step into my world, but I am still willing to miss you and love you this way.