Self-Shame

Commit suicide "The most affectionate person cannot withstand the ravages of time." I died, I died of suicide. I picked up the knife and cut scars on my arm one by one. If you ask me if it hurts, I can only shake my head. Not painful I saw you shed a tear, and I hurriedly raised my hand to wipe it away for you, but as soon as I touched you, my hand passed through your body. I watched helplessly as you wiped away your tears. I don't understand. Don't you no longer love me? Why are you crying in front of my tombstone and telling me not to leave you. I don't understand Wasn't it you who pushed me away first? It seems there is no way back now. Right, Xu Wenbo. The wind has risen, and the birds dance in the wind to clear their shadows. It is like in the human world. The fog slowly rises with the candlelight, but the candlelight goes out instantly. The rain sways in the wind and mist, and the tomb soil is soaked by the rain. Is it my missing you that has crossed the line? Your sweetheart is holding an umbrella for you. Now I have no body and cannot hold an umbrella for you. Xu Wenbo. My soul is walking with your footsteps. I raised my head and saw that this was the house we lived in as a couple for five years. Three years of pampering and two years of indifference were the only feelings this home gave me. You opened the door and entered the house hand in hand with your sweetheart. That was my seat, but everything changed 2 years ago. He has changed, his heart has changed, but his appearance has not changed. It's just that without me, I feel completely empty. They did not enter my house, but when they reached the hall he told his sweetheart to leave. His sweetheart persuaded him for a while and then left, feeling very unhappy. "Xu Wenbo, I really want to love you again, but I can't love you anymore, loving you again will cross the line." Too bad he couldn't hear it. I followed his footsteps silently, hoping to stay with him in these last seven days. He said: "Why are you so stupid!" "I... I'm not stupid, I just want to leave." He could only look at my room blankly, but could not hear my voice. Yes, I can't hear it, and I will never hear it again. It was you who didn't want me in the first place. Now you should be free and affectionate with your sweetheart, instead of looking at my room with guilt in your eyes. I just feel like it's my fault. Did you know? I always thought that you loved me and that our marriage came from marriage, and you agreed. In the beginning, you were good to me in everything. Even though I had a bad temper and always lost my temper, you still patiently coaxed me. I'm not good at cooking, but you can cook for me and make what I like to eat. Our first anniversary was happy, and so were the second and third anniversaries. But in the fourth year, you changed. You always came home when the time came, but you got worse. You wouldn't be home for a few days or a few months, and you wouldn't answer the phone. I thought you were just tired and working, but what? On the fourth anniversary, I came to the company to spend our most important day with you. What I saw is enough that you have crossed the line. You are holding a girl in your arms. She is a girl with a hot body and good looks. I know that our relationship is over. We are gay. Are you disgusted? Are you disgusted that I'm a boy? Yes, you are disgusted. In the fifth year, I lived alone. On the fifth anniversary, you came home. I was so happy. I thought you came back to spend the holidays with me, but I was wrong. You had a list in your hand. Is it a divorce agreement? I guessed wrong, it was a personal sales contract, you sold me, haha, you asked me to sign and seal it, but I didn't sign, but you threatened me with a divorce agreement, so I signed it anyway, both contracts. He sold me to a drug dealer. They forced me to take medicine, but I couldn't resist and took it anyway. It was an aphrodisiac. Seven people took turns with me. The sheets were covered with blood and disgusting liquid. When you redeemed me, I was already crazy, and you looked at me with panic in your eyes. You ask how I am? I shook my head and asked, "Are you satisfied?" You were obviously stunned: "I... I'm sorry, it's my fault." I smiled weakly: "Seven people, seven people! They took my turn. I really wanted to die at that time!!! Do you know?" You can only keep saying sorry to me. I'm really crazy. The poison in my body makes me worse than death. It feels like death! I said to him, "Now that the police are here, can I kill them?" You thought about it, nodded, and gave me the knife. I walked towards them, but suddenly I went crazy and ran away. I ran to a ruins and you couldn't find me. You were so panicked! Afraid i do Stupid thing. But what you were afraid of finally happened. When you saw me, only my cold body was left. You ran towards my body like crazy, but the police covered me with a white cloth first. When you saw me again, I was already a small box. You asked me: "You said I was a good person, but now I am in such a small and light box." I just smiled and wanted to answer your question, but you couldn't hear me and it didn't help. Seven days passed like this. "Xu Wenbo, I solemnly say that I will never see you again. Seeing you again is really crossing the line. It's enough to ruin my life. I don't want to see you again in the next life, and the next life forever. It hurts too much." You still met me in the next life, and we were together, but you still pushed me away no more love Can't afford to love anymore too tired love you it's my fault I shouldn't have loved you But fate always plays tricks on people Xu Wenbo, I really will never see you again this time "finished" Purpose: Self-shame "The most affectionate people will not be able to withstand the ravages of time."