I am a lonely star falling from the vast galaxy
You are a sunflower on this earth, rooted in the cold and barren frozen soil
I am a sleepy fox in the wheat field, you are a traveler accidentally lost in the sea of sand
We were originally unrelated, but why did you take root and sprout beside me? Why did you pick me up from the waves of wheat and put me in the back seat of your plane that was in disrepair?
You need a shining sun, and I'm a cold dead star
You long for a well, just as I long for that blond-haired boy
Do you want to use this meteorite as your fertilizer?
Do you want this fox's blood, flesh, or fur?
Of course you don't need me, but why do you show that expression?
You blossomed towards me and put my paws on the almost withered water bag
I'm not thirsty and don't need the bag of water; I have no sense of smell and can't smell the flowers
There are pitted scars on the meteorite, and my hair is stuck to my body one by one.
This kind of look that even I hate——
But you said that pilots like stars, just like little foxes like gold
So I deceived myself day after day, getting used to your soft petals and the fragrance of flowers that I clearly couldn't smell.
The desert is too cold at night. Only in your arms can I sleep peacefully and well.
Should I tell you that I am not the North Star that guides the way?
Should I tell you that the yellow color of sunflowers does not sparkle?
When you understand all this, will you leave? Or am I just a place of shade and a reserve of food from the beginning?
I don't want to know the answer, maybe I already know it
But I will fantasize
I fantasize that one day I will smell the fragrance of flowers in the starry desert.
——"The Last Sound of Killing the Hamster by Gu Xingnian"
I used to think that I was the fox who waited foolishly. Friendship and family affection brought me many little princes, but they would always disappear in the wheat field in the end. Until I met a person, when I risked tears again and asked him to tame me, he told me that he would not be another little prince, he would be a pilot, the pilot who wanted to take me away.
This is how I shed tears for the first time because of Gu Xingnian.
Purpose: I would like to dedicate this book to my natural awakening.
