"I" am an ordinary working-class young woman in her late thirties who has no partner and does not live at home. Because of a bad first love experience, I retaliated by trying to meet strange men online. From the initial revengeful mentality, I gradually accepted and recognized my own behavior, and gained my own understanding of "sex". When "I" was nearly thirty years old, my anxiety became more and more serious, and even affected my normal work, so I quit my job to cultivate myself. During this time, I met Qin Hui, a married man, online. The main content of the novel is divided into three lines. The main plot is the process of getting along with Qin Hui after I got to know him. From understanding each other to being able to play together, according to my bottom line in making friends, I tried to keep a spiritual distance from him, but I gradually found that I had a strong dependence on him, and finally separated decisively. The second line is that in the process of interacting with Qin Hui, "my" mental state became worse and worse, and even symptoms of depression appeared. In the later period, I redeemed myself and gradually returned to stability. The third line is the influence of my original family represented by my mother on me. The last two lines are interspersed with the main line and do not exist independently. In addition, Chapters 5, 6 and 12 intersperse two stories: My First Love and Wang Peng. The former further explains why I fall in love with dating strange men.
Purpose: Through the perspective of the character "I", it shows the life experiences of a single young man in his thirties, and expresses the anxiety, confusion and pressure of this group of young people born in the 1990s, including their own emotional anxiety and anxiety from their families. The novel mainly involves issues such as contemporary youth's views on marriage and love, female characters' understanding of sex, anxiety in the face of family relationships, the profound influence of the original family, and emotional colds.