When I was fourteen years old, I saw the best Jiang Jinzhou in the world.
When I was fifteen years old, Jiang Jinzhou said he wanted to be my friend, but the seriousness in his eyes was taken as a joke by me.
When I was sixteen, Jiang Jinzhou's birthday, I told him that I liked him, but he didn't say anything.
At the age of seventeen, Jiang Jinzhou left me forever.
On the day of the funeral, I could only place a bouquet of yellow and white daisies in front of his tombstone. That boy is the warm sun in early spring, the North Star in midsummer night, the burning clouds in late autumn dusk, and a trace of unruliness in the cold winter. He will always succumb to the disease.
Maybe for a moment, that soft-hearted God made his world cry.
I've met many people. Because I look like him, I like them all.
Later, Su Qing got married, and Lin Yidong cried like a dog at the wedding. I was sitting in the audience, and the wedding ring rolled from the stage to my feet. Lin Yidong was stunned, but I didn't pick it up. He said, "Mo Mo, it's a good thing you didn't pick it up that day. Maybe I should marry you, right?"
I looked at Su Qing and smiled: "Lin Yidong, I'm going to the North Pole."
Lin Yidong asked me: "When will you come back?"
I said: "Whenever you die, I will come back."
Lin Yidong: "Do you hate me so much?"
I shook my head, there was no blessing, only farewell: "Goodbye."
If meeting Jiang Jinzhou was a disaster, then Lin Yidong must be a gift. It was he who taught me a truth: I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the sun, but the sunshine made my desolation become a newer desolation.
He said that the Arctic is so cold, like a dark and humid underground. But the aurora stopped his cold from being cold.
He said, Mo Mo, you are so good at painting. If you have a chance, go see the aurora for me. Draw it and put it on my tombstone. It should be waterproof.
When I was sixteen years old, I went to see him, and I could run faster than the mad dog next door; when I was twenty-six, all the mad dogs next door ran to death, and I no longer had to run to see him.
Intention: We are in darkness, but we have to face the sunshine.
