Falling out of love again and again, rising hope again and again. She just wants to get a love that is beyond all else. Is it really so difficult? I don't want to be like my mother, waiting for an unworthy love to end in depression. What she wants is love that is complete and without any flaws. If she really couldn't get it, forget it. She didn't want to make do with it. At least, there was one free gift left that was entirely hers. With "it", she will no longer be afraid of loneliness.