You have been suffering from insomnia for a long time. You should know that the more you want to sleep, the more excited you will be, right? There are many other examples of this. For example, when you are driving and see an obstacle in front of you, sometimes you don't want to hit it but you will hit it anyway. Also, sometimes you will want to remember something, such as a person's name. The name is right on your lips, as if you can say it with just one opening of your mouth, but you just can't remember it. The more you think about it, the less you can remember it... There are many such things... I know you are trying to make yourself forget some things, but the more you want to forget, the more you can't forget it, just like the more you want to escape, the more you can't escape, so -