Don't Try to Bend Me

[Please pre-accept the column "Don't Act with Me" from the archived article] Gu Jiqing is recognized as a beauty by the Mathematics Department of Tsinghua University. Her look of pure lust attracted all the girls in the school. However, she confessed that she was gay on the first day of school and is said to have won over several straight men. Zhou Cibai is a recognized figure in the architecture department of Tsinghua University. With his height of 1.9 Meters and overwhelming hormonal aura, he is praised by all the girls in the school as the walking general attacker. However, he has been clearly homophobic from the first day of school. So on the first day when the two were assigned to the same dormitory, Zhou Cibai said with a straight face: "Sorry, I'm not interested in men." Gu Jiqing heard this and thought to himself, that's just right, he doesn't like large dogs anyway. The two hit it off immediately and thought they could live in peace. However, Gu Jiqing would forget to dry his hair while taking a shower, Zhou Cibai would slam the door with a red face, forget to put on pants when he got up, Zhou Cibai would slam the door with a red face, and rub his palms unconsciously when he was sick, Zhou Cibai would still slam the door with a red face. Gu Jiqing thought that Zhou Cibai might be really homophobic. Until one day, he was drugged in a bar. In front of Zhou Cibai, when he was about to find a young, handsome, clean and lively fellow to help, Zhou Cibai held his waist and said through gritted teeth: "Gu Jiqing, do you think I'm not handsome enough or do you think I'm not clean enough?" Gu Jiqing blinked blankly: "Ah? Isn't it because you can't do it?" · When Zhou Cibai was in junior high school, he had a goddess whom he fell in love with at first sight, but because of a stalking gay man, he was completely embarrassed in front of the goddess. From then on, he stayed away from gays. As a result, Gu Jiqing would seduce him with wet hair when taking a shower, expose her thighs to seduce him when she got out of bed, act coquettishly to seduce him when she was sick, and even the red mole at the corner of his eye was exactly the same as his goddess. Zhou Cibai finally couldn't bear it anymore and said with a cold face: "Gu Jiqing, can you restrain yourself a little and stop trying to bend me all day long?" Then that night, he put Gu Jiqing to sleep. Zhou Cibai, who had believed since childhood that love would come from holding hands, looked at the rubber condoms on the floor and felt that even though he was a homophobic straight man, he still had to be responsible for Gu Jiqing. So he decided to destroy the photos of the goddess, bid farewell to the past, and establish a formal relationship with Gu Jiqing. However, Gu Jiqing, who had been pestering him all night, just lay on the bed, lazily scrolling through the goddess's photo, and asked in a hoarse voice: "Why do you have a photo of me in junior high school?" Then he raised his eyes slightly and wrote lightly: "Oh, by the way, I've transferred 10,000 yuan to you. I'll treat it as your hard work last night. You're welcome." Zhou Cibai, a homophobic straight man who made a fortune overnight but was only worth 10,000: "???" Natural fishing system lures a beautiful woman to be attacked without realizing it ——[Please pre-accept the column "Don't Act with Me" from the archived article]—— As the most popular newcomer in costume in recent years, Yu Shu is praised by fans as the number one Bai Yueguang in domestic entertainment costumes because of her charming features, world-weary temperament, white skin and thin waist, and frail and beautiful appearance. And Zhou Huaixu is the father of eight children in countless videos. He is cold and sharp, has an ascetic temperament, is rich and handsome, tall and broad-shouldered, and has "cold can be beaten but hard to mess with" written all over his body. The two have always disliked each other for no other reason than that they were both homophobic and had been flirted with. Zhou Huaixu even said coldly and cruelly to Yu Shu: "Even if I am single for the rest of my life, I will never have any unclear relationship with a man." Then that afternoon, he was seriously injured and fell into a coma in order to protect Yu Shu. When he woke up again, his first words were affectionate: "My beloved concubine, I have missed her for more than a thousand years. Why don't you sleep with her tonight." Yu·Ai Fei·Shu: "..." Dial 110 indifferently. · After various investigations, it was proved that Zhou Huaixu was indeed mentally ill. Out of humanitarian spirit, Yu Shu had to take Zhou Huaixu home first. When Yu Shu takes a bath, Zhou Huaixu wants to come with him. When Yu Shu was sleeping, Zhou Huaixu wanted to be with him. Yu Shu took stomach medicine, and Zhou Huaixu wanted to accompany him. Yu Shu finally couldn't bear it any longer: "Zhou Huaixu, my retching is due to gastritis, not pregnancy!" Then that night, Zhou Huaixu posted a photo of a turtle on Weibo: [The whole world celebrates the birth of the prince, @, the father of the child, thank you for your hard work] Yu Shu:) He didn't know whether the whole network was bombed or not, but he was bombed anyway. But facing his savior, Yu Shu could only choose to be patient. If they want to take a bath together, they will take a bath together. If they want to sleep together, they will sleep together. If they want to have a baby together, he will pretend to have one. Until one day, he came home early and saw Zhou Tyrant, who he was supposed to miss so much, playing with his turtle son and lazily saying to the other end of the phone: "Don't worry, I'm fine. I was all acting to chase Yu Shu." Yu Shu finally showed a relieved smile. The remnants of feudalism will all die to me. [Beautiful, frail, and mouth full of poison, world-weary Shou Let yourself go, pure sand sculpture, life is too hard, find some happiness Mission: Care for the flowers of the motherland with love