If possible, Ruosu hoped not to eat those two more bites of braised pork, so that there would not be only three pieces of meat left, so that she would not eat an extra bowl, and then nothing would happen later.
If possible, Ruosu wanted to say, she would actually like to be able to eat braised pork like this all the time.
There is the word "ruo" in Ruosu's name, but she knows that there is no "if".
Intention: I don't want to repay evil with kindness, but I can't repay evil with evil.