The noisy East China Sea, the bustling and festive wedding banquet, and the groom wearing a dazzling red robe are the existences that only relate to me in fantasy. None of this makes me happy at what I think is the end of my life, because maybe the next moment will be disillusionment.
If you don't have expectations and joy, you won't have despair and sadness when you lose.
I'm just so scared.
Conception: