He wants to live an ordinary life and find a partner to spend the rest of his life with.
He wanted to have him and love him, but he couldn't get a response. Spend time in longing.
Happiness, sometimes only for a moment. It is said that there is no happiness if you force yourself to do it, but his obsession allowed him to get him, a person who did not belong to him originally, but was willing to abandon the worldly concepts and stay with him until he grew old.