·Swordsman Love Online Version 3·
The prosperity of the Tang Dynasty declined,
The world is in turmoil.
Half the song is full of chaos in the world,
Wu is entangled in love and hatred throughout her life.
The scenery of Ten Thousand Flowers Valley is intoxicating.
Such a paradise.
Even if it is just a hemostatic grass, there is still a fragment.
Reader comments
I am a habitual death star...
To be honest, if this article wasn't so cute, I wouldn't have picked up the article after the 20th. However, it turns out that Mice's decision was a good one, otherwise I would have missed such a fateful article.
Well, there are three commonplaces:
1. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. The author is asked to try to hold on after being criticized, or to give up the comment and leave.
2. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. If the author can't stand the venomous tongue, he can poke Shuo Shu privately.
3. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. Please stay calm when the author sees Shuo Shu's inexplicable and clear points.
[The following is a formal comment]
As a female man who has been practicing immortality for a million years, I am very happy to see that another immortality has fallen into my hands...
As a time-travel meme that has been played to the point of death, Kim Soo-hyun from the Star (named after the character Virgo the Beast) has told everyone in a high-profile way that time-travel does not limit "one world, one dream". So I don't know since when, cold female killers began to wear, indifferent female agents wore to wear, wise female doctors wore to wear, pure female students wore to wear... A large number of women who are not afraid of power and money can attract men's hearts like dirt, a large number of women are married to princes, princes, emperors, young village masters, religious leaders, mountain kings...
So we are left with a bunch of money-worshiping girls in society who say, "You just left me because you thought I had no money."
Hehe.
But no matter what, when a familiar time travel encounters an equally familiar cultivator, whether the sparks created are novel or equally vulgar still needs to be polished by the author.
The story of this article by the author tells the story of a true fan who can tell the difference between heaven and earth and travels to a true love story to have friction with the male protagonist. Mouse tentatively guessed that this article was a big game played by the author of the article on cultivating immortality. Xiaohao, a true fan, just complained about the article and the system, and then traveled into the article and became the master of the male protagonist.
The setting is that the male protagonist is a sinister pseudo-Bai Lian, I understand.
I have to say that this means that the readers of Danmei articles are women. If the male protagonist is a woman, the negative score for green tea bitch in the article will blow up the JJ system. However, with such a small attack, the character suddenly changed from embarrassing to cute, which feels very good.
Let's discuss it from the article settings.
This article is a Danmei cultivation article. From a Danmei perspective, it is very good to have gay feelings and interactions in the article. However, as a cultivation article, it seems too stingy - it's not that the momentum is not enough, but there is no momentum. The author does not have the strength to bravado in this article.
In addition, this little gong kills the whole family... The little shou can live in the mountains... The little gong is so hard, the little shou is so hard... How come this setting is so familiar! ! (The author please contact Mice privately, be sure to...)
Secondly, the main line of the article is not obvious enough, and the overall outline is very simple. It is completely unclear how the author plans to arrange the two protagonists' actions next. Of course, there is no problem if the two people get together through a single plot, but if this is the case, Mouse suggests that the author might as well change the setting of cultivation to martial arts. Although cultivation can live longer, it is obvious that the growth of the characters in the book is still at a certain unconventional age, especially Hao, who inherited his memory.
Originally, Xiuzhen literature gave people a sense of fantasy and grandeur. The yearning for the vast blue world has always flowed from the blood of our ancestors to us. Whether it is Wang Sheng in "Liao Zhai" or the Emperor Shihuang who is further away, the immortals have always had their own territory. One of them occupied Mount Laoshan as the king, and the other entered the East China Sea as the hegemon. But whether it is a mountain or a sea, the biggest feature is nothing more than one word - big. The shortcomings of the work lie in this "blur" and "picking". Excessive two-dimensional description is not terrible, but the key is that it is very problematic to describe the background in one stroke and too small.
Mouse personally believes that every world should have its own rules, but the things expressed in the article are too childish and make people disconnect after reading it. In particular, Xiao Shou is a time traveler and a protagonist in his own right, but what he does in the article is too superficial and does not let readers understand the situation of this cultivation world in the first place.
The behavior and IQ of the characters are also very problematic. The mouse remembers that a certain ancestor in the article wanted to ignore Xiao Hao and kill Xiao Gong. This idea of revenge is very problematic. I won't use Green Station as an example, but look at what I mentioned above about Chen Dong. In his most famous novel "The World of Immortality", there is a scene that left a deep impression on Mouse. That is, a group of wealthy families suspected that the male protagonist was being protected by a certain big shot, and even married off their beloved daughters to please that big shot, even though that big shot was actually a scumbag compared to the real "big shot."
But since you have chosen the realm of cultivation, please continue to eat the weak. The author, please give this psychological hint to all the characters in the book - a mere Nascent Soul is trying to touch the distraction and reverse scale, so go back to your 38th line to pick up cow dung in a minute!
In addition, I really want to know, if Xiao Gongming knows how to be a good person, why he still has such a flashy prefix... Well, it's a compound surname. Similarly, her mother can put good things into his hands, so she naturally has a high status in the family. In addition, I really want to know why a big family will destroy its family if it says it is destroyed. Are everyone else blind? There are no cultivators in their family? Don't you have any friends who are cultivators?
I know why Xiao Gong pretends to be a white lotus flower. Previous experience tells him that good interpersonal relationships are actually very important...
In addition, the setting of this article is relatively simple, with few characters, but their personalities are distinct but not conspicuous. There is no language description that can express the character of the characters in just one sentence.
In terms of the author's writing style, he cannot control the ancient rhyme and grandeur of Xiuzhen's novels. If the author cannot control the grandeur and grandeur of Xiuzhen's novels, he might as well read a few more articles with large settings. I personally recommend Chen Dong from Diandianjia. Although Tomato's articles are fast food, they still describe the mythical world well.
Another bug: Bodhi is a translation of Sanskrit that was introduced to China. If such things appear in orthodox cultivation texts, they must be Buddhists, otherwise it will be a drama.
For a new author, writing to this level is already very good. Jinjiang's cultivation literature is generally not grand enough, so authors, please do your best! !
PS: Please be sure to contact the mouse, please be sure to contact the mouse! ! ! It's very important. Whether it's through the shop or entering the mouse column, the author must get in touch with the mouse privately! !
It looks good. I hope Master Ye will always be so awesome. He can be emotionally abusive, but not martial arts.
Not bad, keep updating
Np only has Choi Young Do and So Yi Jung≧∇≦Can't they all be accepted?
It feels so great! You are worthy of being a cheating girl!
The girls in the stories written by cheating girls are usually cute, while the men are scumbags. This is exactly what I want! ! _(:з∠)_
Nightmares and other things are really a must-have for fantasy (touches chin)
我是第一个评论的！
顾大姑相中顾语卿了呀！
来看你了，进步好快，评论里好热闹的哦，有时间我还会再来的，继续加油。
Sure enough, one chapter is not enough = =
Or continue to fatten up
果然不虐阿，信你了，真是峰回路转阿
Instead of adding an update on Valentine's Day, is it okay to add an update on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month? ^ω^
I am a habitual death star... To be honest, if this article wasn't so cute, I wouldn't have picked up the article after the 20th. However, it turns out that Mice's decision was a good one, otherwise I would have missed such a fateful article. Well, there are three commonplaces: 1. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. The author is asked to try to hold on after being criticized, or to give up the comment and leave. 2. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. If the author can't stand the venomous tongue, he can poke Shuo Shu privately. 3. This comment comes from the opinion of Shuo Shu. All opinions are personal and subjective and do not (necessarily) conform to the public's perspective. Please stay calm when the author sees Shuo Shu's inexplicable and clear points. [The following is a formal comment] As a female man who has been practicing immortality for a million years, I am very happy to see that another immortality has fallen into my hands... As a time-travel meme that has been played to the point of death, Kim Soo-hyun from the Star (named after the character Virgo the Beast) has told everyone in a high-profile way that time-travel does not limit "one world, one dream". So I don't know since when, cold female killers began to wear, indifferent female agents wore to wear, wise female doctors wore to wear, pure female students wore to wear... A large number of women who are not afraid of power and money can attract men's hearts like dirt, a large number of women are married to princes, princes, emperors, young village masters, religious leaders, mountain kings... So we are left with a bunch of money-worshiping girls in society who say, "You just left me because you thought I had no money." Hehe. But no matter what, when a familiar time travel encounters an equally familiar cultivator, whether the sparks created are novel or equally vulgar still needs to be polished by the author. The story of this article by the author tells the story of a true fan who can tell the difference between heaven and earth and travels to a true love story to have friction with the male protagonist. Mouse tentatively guessed that this article was a big game played by the author of the article on cultivating immortality. Xiaohao, a true fan, just complained about the article and the system, and then traveled into the article and became the master of the male protagonist. The setting is that the male protagonist is a sinister pseudo-Bai Lian, I understand. I have to say that this means that the readers of Danmei articles are women. If the male protagonist is a woman, the negative score for green tea bitch in the article will blow up the JJ system. However, with such a small attack, the character suddenly changed from embarrassing to cute, which feels very good. Let's discuss it from the article settings. This article is a Danmei cultivation article. From a Danmei perspective, it is very good to have gay feelings and interactions in the article. However, as a cultivation article, it seems too stingy - it's not that the momentum is not enough, but there is no momentum. The author does not have the strength to bravado in this article. In addition, this little gong kills the whole family... The little shou can live in the mountains... The little gong is so hard, the little shou is so hard... How come this setting is so familiar! ! (The author please contact Mice privately, be sure to...) Secondly, the main line of the article is not obvious enough, and the overall outline is very simple. It is completely unclear how the author plans to arrange the two protagonists' actions next. Of course, there is no problem if the two people get together through a single plot, but if this is the case, Mouse suggests that the author might as well change the setting of cultivation to martial arts. Although cultivation can live longer, it is obvious that the growth of the characters in the book is still at a certain unconventional age, especially Hao, who inherited his memory. Originally, Xiuzhen literature gave people a sense of fantasy and grandeur. The yearning for the vast blue world has always flowed from the blood of our ancestors to us. Whether it is Wang Sheng in "Liao Zhai" or the Emperor Shihuang who is further away, the immortals have always had their own territory. One of them occupied Mount Laoshan as the king, and the other entered the East China Sea as the hegemon. But whether it is a mountain or a sea, the biggest feature is nothing more than one word - big. The shortcomings of the work lie in this "blur" and "picking". Excessive two-dimensional description is not terrible, but the key is that it is very problematic to describe the background in one stroke and too small. Mouse personally believes that every world should have its own rules, but the things expressed in the article are too childish and make people disconnect after reading it. In particular, Xiao Shou is a time traveler and a protagonist in his own right, but what he does in the article is too superficial and does not let readers understand the situation of this cultivation world in the first place. The behavior and IQ of the characters are also very problematic. The mouse remembers that a certain ancestor in the article wanted to ignore Xiao Hao and kill Xiao Gong. This idea of revenge is very problematic. I won't use Green Station as an example, but look at what I mentioned above about Chen Dong. In his most famous novel "The World of Immortality", there is a scene that left a deep impression on Mouse. That is, a group of wealthy families suspected that the male protagonist was being protected by a certain big shot, and even married off their beloved daughters to please that big shot, even though that big shot was actually a scumbag compared to the real "big shot." But since you have chosen the realm of cultivation, please continue to eat the weak. The author, please give this psychological hint to all the characters in the book - a mere Nascent Soul is trying to touch the distraction and reverse scale, so go back to your 38th line to pick up cow dung in a minute! In addition, I really want to know, if Xiao Gongming knows how to be a good person, why he still has such a flashy prefix... Well, it's a compound surname. Similarly, her mother can put good things into his hands, so she naturally has a high status in the family. In addition, I really want to know why a big family will destroy its family if it says it is destroyed. Are everyone else blind? There are no cultivators in their family? Don't you have any friends who are cultivators? I know why Xiao Gong pretends to be a white lotus flower. Previous experience tells him that good interpersonal relationships are actually very important... In addition, the setting of this article is relatively simple, with few characters, but their personalities are distinct but not conspicuous. There is no language description that can express the character of the characters in just one sentence. In terms of the author's writing style, he cannot control the ancient rhyme and grandeur of Xiuzhen's novels. If the author cannot control the grandeur and grandeur of Xiuzhen's novels, he might as well read a few more articles with large settings. I personally recommend Chen Dong from Diandianjia. Although Tomato's articles are fast food, they still describe the mythical world well. Another bug: Bodhi is a translation of Sanskrit that was introduced to China. If such things appear in orthodox cultivation texts, they must be Buddhists, otherwise it will be a drama. For a new author, writing to this level is already very good. Jinjiang's cultivation literature is generally not grand enough, so authors, please do your best! ! PS: Please be sure to contact the mouse, please be sure to contact the mouse! ! ! It's very important. Whether it's through the shop or entering the mouse column, the author must get in touch with the mouse privately! !
It looks good. I hope Master Ye will always be so awesome. He can be emotionally abusive, but not martial arts.
Not bad, keep updating
Np only has Choi Young Do and So Yi Jung≧∇≦Can't they all be accepted?
It feels so great! You are worthy of being a cheating girl! The girls in the stories written by cheating girls are usually cute, while the men are scumbags. This is exactly what I want! ! _(:з∠)_
Nightmares and other things are really a must-have for fantasy (touches chin)
我是第一个评论的！
顾大姑相中顾语卿了呀！
来看你了，进步好快，评论里好热闹的哦，有时间我还会再来的，继续加油。
Sure enough, one chapter is not enough = = Or continue to fatten up
果然不虐阿，信你了，真是峰回路转阿
Instead of adding an update on Valentine's Day, is it okay to add an update on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month? ^ω^