You have nothing to do with your time. You used your youth to resist everything, and you became an unhappy person in a daze. You were aggrieved and wanted to be harmonious, not sharp.
I don't think about it anymore, how to deal with it now:
First of all, the most important thing is Mu Ren, you should be calm and frank, and don't greet you when you come;
When facing Zuo Zhongyan, you should let nature take its course, observe his appearance, and speak casually but politely;
When facing Yu Yise, you have to adjust your sadness and try your best to turn it into happiness and acceptance. It's best to be kind to each other.
Don't mention other people, just feel free to do it.