Merlin didn't know. She was obviously studying psychology. She knew exactly what she was worried about and what she was thinking, but she couldn't make herself face her. But she saw others clearly, and she knew she was abnormal, but she still had no regrets.
Purpose: People always have to go through changes when they are alive. Life may not always be what you want. The most important thing is to maintain your original intention. Try not to let yourself become the person you hate.