I have a terrible childhood sweetheart. Later, she became obsessed with something called Tanmei culture. From then on, whenever she saw a man, her eyes would light up. When she saw two men holding hands, her eyes would turn red, and her heart would become dirty.
As her closest male friend, I was deeply abused and the most pitiful one, until one day...
One summer night when it was pouring, when we two fools were walking on the street, she recited a passage with emotion, "My love, my self-righteous love, was just born in your air, a deviant breath."
I said with emotion, "Girl, you're twenty-six, quickly find a man to marry you, if you delay it, no one will want you."
I tried to persuade her with good intentions, but I didn't expect her to contradict me confidently, "Ding Ding, I remember that you seem to be one year older than me. I also kindly advise you to find a man as soon as possible. If a spinster like you doesn't give yourself, no one will want him."
I was angry, with fire rising from the bottom of my heart, and hatred growing in my guts. I shouted in what I thought was the coldest tone possible, "If I really become a fucking gay, I'm willing to be struck by lightning from the sky."
I think that day must have been the most diligent day for God. He neither asked for wine or tea nor asked Duke Zhou to play chess. He pierced my ears when I said the first sentence, and when I finished the second sentence, he fulfilled my wish in a good mood.
After a rumble of thunder, I was struck. What was even worse was that when I woke up, I found that I had become the most clichéd plot in Danmei novels - I had traveled through time.