Before writing this article, I read Nan Kang's diary, "Waiting for You to Be 35", "Six Chapters of a Floating Life", and "The Tribulation of Wandering".
There are several passages in it that touched me deeply:
"I'm not innocent, but I'm not guilty either. I just fell in love with someone."
"Even if everyone in the world betrays you, I will always stand by your side."
"I'm stupid. I only know how to love someone wholeheartedly. I would rather be stabbed ten times than let you suffer one."
"He has never said that he likes me. Even though we live together and we often have sex, he has never said this sentence. It seems that once he said this sentence, I personally admitted my identity and I never said it to him. I only wrote it once or twice when I wrote a letter. I felt that it would be embarrassing to say the words "I love you"."
I put myself into Nankang, combined with so many words he wrote, and felt his thoughts, his mentality, his struggle and contradictions about this relationship.
The last paragraph "I hope we never meet again in the next life" was added selfishly. I always feel that Nankang has suffered so much for love in this life. If there is an afterlife, I hope to take a different path from this life.
PS: If you think you can't understand this short article, please first get to know Nan Kang Baiqi, and then read his "Waiting for You to Be 35".
Conception: