The name carries the expectations of parents, so in this life, Nineteen is expected to be happy. But after so many years, she never got it.
She has been pursuing freedom, but this part is unfettered and the other part is imprisoned. So she stopped thinking about it, where is freedom in the world? She actually didn't care that much, all she cared about was Cheng Qi.
Cheng Qi always said that he only had her, so she was the only one. She wanted her to be the only one in her eyes and heart, no matter how selfish she was.
Conception: