It's stuck and in poor condition. Still writing, it will be late, don't wait
:
Xie Lingbao in the novel is a delicate little boy who loves to burp.
He clearly has a gentle and gentle man who loves him and dotes on him, but he prefers his stepbrother Lu Yunsheng, and even betrays him for this man, dedicates his body and mind, and finally loses his life.
After hearing the news of his death, Lu Yunsheng just smiled lightly, "Oh? That's such a pity."
Before the tragic ending.
Zhu Ma, who was originally just cannon fodder, suddenly woke up after being caught in a heavy rain and learned all the plot.
He immediately took action.
He took Xie Lingbao, who had betrayed him, back home and pulled him into the bathroom.
Xie Lingbao was panicked and his face was red with embarrassment, "Brother Wuwuwufen, what are you going to do to me? Lingbao is so scared..."
He Ji picked up the water pipe and said, "Take a shower and you will wake up."
Xie Lingbao, who was rushed to the wall by the cold water: "... I'm crazy"
*
Lu Yunsheng is an unscrupulous critic.
He wanted to take away all his father's money and power, and also wanted to completely destroy his stepmother's younger brother.
In order for the plan to proceed smoothly, he had to find a good and obedient dog to serve as a pedal.
I heard that my stepbrother has a sweetheart whom he has had a crush on for many years. He is squeamish, crybaby, brainless, and very in need of love. Simply the most suitable candidate.
After getting closer, I found that this fool was really easy to trick.
But it's boring to only get Xinduo, he also wants to get pregnant and let his stepbrother watch the person he likes fall with his own eyes.
I thought that the little idiot would pounce on me impatiently, but every time he would blush with shame and say, "I'm afraid... Next time, okay..."
Lu Yunsheng could only follow him, firmly believing that it was only a matter of time.
Until he saw the sweet-faced boy drinking milk while chatting with the doctor in an underground clinic.
"Is there any medicine for impotence? I need it urgently."
===
Xie Lingbao, the little burp, has no other abilities.
Just write a poem.
[It's hard to work anywhere in the world, and even bookstores deduct money from me.
One or two of them will go crazy, whoever likes to do this job will do it.
===
CP: The arrogant and spicy role of Wang Shou X escapes into the Buddhist Bamboo Horse Attack
Also known as "You Act", "Drinking Eight Bottles of Milk a Day to Make Burps", "The Milk Burps Here Don't Stink", "Forget It If You Can't Understand", and "It Doesn't Matter"
Criticize whatever you like, the author is tired and it's ruined.
The cover is provided by my friend Zhazhao.
*
Intention: There will still be tomorrow, so don't be sad. The winter snow has melted and the spring water has arrived.
Reader comments
闻遇自己也认可简珣
锁了…我觉得没有完，还有好多要写呢~选个吉祥点的数，番外写到99章吧~长长久久~
I flipped through it again and saw that Yu Ziang didn't show anything wrong before. He was the owner of the racecourse, but it was too coincidental.
Hahahahahahaha
Wait, win less? Save 500,000 for the manuscript??
[Crying] [Crying] [Crying] What year is it today? Teacher's rice is really delicious [Crying] [Crying]
Modo Modo, it's really beautiful, please let me see the follow-up please---
《我在游戏里看见的建模都是我老公》
Today's dessert, if it offends me, please forgive me.
Your copywriting is in order, full of youthful literary and artistic feeling, a little moist and touching, so your main text should be fresh and exciting. I like your previous style very much. It's like listening to someone tell a true and beautiful story. The language and text are very beautiful, and the writing style is speechless. But after one or two chapters of the text, your shortcomings become apparent.
Irregular use of punctuation marks. The most common way is to put periods in a row as ellipses.
The sentence is inconsistent with the person. For example, this: As if the secret was discovered, I felt a little ashamed and angry, and quickly hid the phone behind my back. Since I am talking about myself, I should know in my heart whether it is a secret to myself or not. It seems inappropriate to use "like". Many people make this mistake when writing first-person essays. The subject is "I" but they use the perspective of others. Also, there are some actions that you cannot notice by yourself, so you have to use other people's words to bring them up, and try to make "my" actions and psychology grounded.
The progress is too fast. We obviously don't have much contact with each other, but now we can start joking and complaining about each other. Japan is a place that pays great attention to etiquette, and your writing is very realistic. At the beginning, you should address the other person as [surname + classmate], but Yukimura calls the heroine Xiao Wei very intimately. On the rooftop, from the first-person perspective, the heroine and Yukimura are not very familiar with each other, but Yukimura naturally joked that he would give the heroine water from the water pipe to scare the heroine. Even if he wanted to tease the heroine, his sinister nature was revealed too quickly, not to mention that the other party was not an outgoing girl.
Your advantage is that you don't have a Mary Sue at all, and your character design is great. Xiao Wei and Xiao Kui are both cute. I like Xiao Kui as a little angel! I always feel that the direct interaction between the protagonist and Xiaokui is very natural and cute.
The writing style of this article is very distinctive, with literature and art coexisting with complaints. Some of the complaints are very funny. My favorite is spicy sentences, so I will hang myself with a noodle. The new skill "Get" will be used like this next time. The lyrical part is touching my heart. Even if there are some inappropriate parts in the previous text, I will still be very moved when I see the lyricism. The interaction + lyricism is a great combination of sweetness and abuse, especially the ending is very touching, which makes people feel enlightened and without regrets.
The disadvantage is that sometimes the connection between narration and complaints is not very natural. It is recommended to practice more and chew on it repeatedly. A slight modification will make this style of writing add a lot of points to your article. Some unnecessary sentences can be deleted to make your article more concise. There is no need to squeeze together large paragraphs. Important sentences should be presented separately. Be more interactive and make the progress look more natural, showing your true nature step by step. Read the article over and over again to see if there is anything wrong or correct it. Judging from your entire book, you have made some progress in the later period, so as long as you go back and read it from beginning to end, you will definitely find a lot of things that can be corrected, such as typos, grammatical errors, inconsistent dialogue and actions, etc. Because you are a fan, you need to be careful not to be OOC, and have a better understanding of the character's psychology, what traits the character has, and under what circumstances will that trait manifest itself. In my opinion, Brother Cun is a cool, confident and easy-going king who always looks at the world at his feet calmly. The interaction between the village brother and the heroine in your novel is also very cute. It would be better if they could be more reserved.
Chef-Mo Ye
Woo woo woo, what a great marriage for a hundred years
Teacher. . Automatic renewal has been canceled by the system. . Why don't you come back and take a look? .
闻遇自己也认可简珣
锁了…我觉得没有完，还有好多要写呢~选个吉祥点的数，番外写到99章吧~长长久久~
I flipped through it again and saw that Yu Ziang didn't show anything wrong before. He was the owner of the racecourse, but it was too coincidental.
Hahahahahahaha
Wait, win less? Save 500,000 for the manuscript??
[Crying] [Crying] [Crying] What year is it today? Teacher's rice is really delicious [Crying] [Crying]
Modo Modo, it's really beautiful, please let me see the follow-up please---
《我在游戏里看见的建模都是我老公》
Today's dessert, if it offends me, please forgive me. Your copywriting is in order, full of youthful literary and artistic feeling, a little moist and touching, so your main text should be fresh and exciting. I like your previous style very much. It's like listening to someone tell a true and beautiful story. The language and text are very beautiful, and the writing style is speechless. But after one or two chapters of the text, your shortcomings become apparent. Irregular use of punctuation marks. The most common way is to put periods in a row as ellipses. The sentence is inconsistent with the person. For example, this: As if the secret was discovered, I felt a little ashamed and angry, and quickly hid the phone behind my back. Since I am talking about myself, I should know in my heart whether it is a secret to myself or not. It seems inappropriate to use "like". Many people make this mistake when writing first-person essays. The subject is "I" but they use the perspective of others. Also, there are some actions that you cannot notice by yourself, so you have to use other people's words to bring them up, and try to make "my" actions and psychology grounded. The progress is too fast. We obviously don't have much contact with each other, but now we can start joking and complaining about each other. Japan is a place that pays great attention to etiquette, and your writing is very realistic. At the beginning, you should address the other person as [surname + classmate], but Yukimura calls the heroine Xiao Wei very intimately. On the rooftop, from the first-person perspective, the heroine and Yukimura are not very familiar with each other, but Yukimura naturally joked that he would give the heroine water from the water pipe to scare the heroine. Even if he wanted to tease the heroine, his sinister nature was revealed too quickly, not to mention that the other party was not an outgoing girl. Your advantage is that you don't have a Mary Sue at all, and your character design is great. Xiao Wei and Xiao Kui are both cute. I like Xiao Kui as a little angel! I always feel that the direct interaction between the protagonist and Xiaokui is very natural and cute. The writing style of this article is very distinctive, with literature and art coexisting with complaints. Some of the complaints are very funny. My favorite is spicy sentences, so I will hang myself with a noodle. The new skill "Get" will be used like this next time. The lyrical part is touching my heart. Even if there are some inappropriate parts in the previous text, I will still be very moved when I see the lyricism. The interaction + lyricism is a great combination of sweetness and abuse, especially the ending is very touching, which makes people feel enlightened and without regrets. The disadvantage is that sometimes the connection between narration and complaints is not very natural. It is recommended to practice more and chew on it repeatedly. A slight modification will make this style of writing add a lot of points to your article. Some unnecessary sentences can be deleted to make your article more concise. There is no need to squeeze together large paragraphs. Important sentences should be presented separately. Be more interactive and make the progress look more natural, showing your true nature step by step. Read the article over and over again to see if there is anything wrong or correct it. Judging from your entire book, you have made some progress in the later period, so as long as you go back and read it from beginning to end, you will definitely find a lot of things that can be corrected, such as typos, grammatical errors, inconsistent dialogue and actions, etc. Because you are a fan, you need to be careful not to be OOC, and have a better understanding of the character's psychology, what traits the character has, and under what circumstances will that trait manifest itself. In my opinion, Brother Cun is a cool, confident and easy-going king who always looks at the world at his feet calmly. The interaction between the village brother and the heroine in your novel is also very cute. It would be better if they could be more reserved. Chef-Mo Ye
Woo woo woo, what a great marriage for a hundred years
Teacher. . Automatic renewal has been canceled by the system. . Why don't you come back and take a look? .
Yoyoyo, so ambiguous. [Shy]