He came to this strange city
He is cowardly, timid, and stubborn.
He got to know him, lively and optimistic.
He likes his smiling eyes, so bright and always full of light.
He likes to tell people that they are sweethearts, and he thinks that is the only reason he can get a sense of superiority.
That year, when he was 12 years old, he thought it was just friendship.
That year, when he was 14 years old, he thought he was sick.
That year, when he was 16 years old, he understood that it was love. That year, when he was 18 years old, he finally became brave for once.
...
I could have gotten used to the darkness if I had never seen the sun.
"You are like the sun, you make me so warm."
Had I not seen the Sun,
I could have borne the shade.
But Light a newer Wilderness,
My Wilderness has made.
I could have endured the darkness
If I had never seen the sun
But the sun has made my desolation
become a newer desolation
——Emily Dickinson "If I Never Saw the Sun"