I used to just want to be comfortable. In order to be comfortable, I pretended to be stupid and ignored everything, just looking for a way to survive, but in the end I ended up with a dead end. When I woke up again, I tried to fight for it, seek clarity in everything, and didn't want to be manipulated by others anymore, but in the end I still ended up being manipulated by others!
God's will is like this. Since we can't avoid it, we might as well head on! I will eventually get back those things that were taken away from you step by step!