Basic Training of a Saint

I am a saint of the God of Light. Everyone in the continent knows that the saint of the God of Light has brilliant blond hair and blue eyes that are deeper than gems. He always wore a compassionate smile and said: The benevolent God of Light will definitely forgive you. But what they didn't know was that my hair was dyed and my eyes were wearing color-changing lenses. When I smile every day, what I think in my mind is: Why don't you die, you scumbag?