When I was young, I would always fall in love with someone inexplicably, and I would remember it for many years. Searching hard, tossing and turning.
You will always read other people's stories, most of them are affectionate. However, we are just ordinary people, and our love will always be mixed with some unclear right and wrong in the world; it will be blocked from different directions; not everyone can love someone without reservation, like a moth to a flame, through the years and time. Women are like this, and men are even more ruthless. Many things cannot stand waiting and waiting, love, even more so.
When you were young, you may not have understood what it means to keep something secret without hesitation. But once you have an obsession, you will pursue it with all your life, even if the result is often 'daunted' or 'unexpected'.
Maybe you don't even understand what this emotion is.
If you can change the place, start in a different way, start to truly understand a person, and start to experience a different world. What does he mean?