She burst into his heart so suddenly, without giving him any preparation, and caught him off guard and at a loss.
He didn't know how to drive her away, maybe he had never had such a plan, but he didn't know that she stayed in his heart for the rest of his life.
He once said that it is only a lifetime, not long.
At that time, he may not have understood that a lifetime is not long. But not short either.
He spent time for her. The age of 19 was the beginning, but it was also the beginning of a lifetime.
For her, he surrendered even though he was scarred.
For her, he worked every step and calculated everything. Hurt others and destroy yourself.
For her, he lost himself and became paranoid all his life.
He loved her, his whole life, his whole life.