The characteristics of straight male cancer can make you go to heaven for one second and hell for another second. Everything he does is based on his own ideas, and for every thing he can describe a very grand background for it, making people cry and understand what he did. Can you see through it? If you can't see through it, you will continue to struggle with sweetness, doubts, and self-denial. And he just smiled, not feeling much sense of accomplishment, nor feeling you were pitiful. Even looking at you was probably a charity.