The first time I wrote something, I was very short of money, but I seemed to have overestimated my level, thinking that I could get what I wanted by just writing casually. What I wrote was essay, and it couldn't be more casual. Maybe it was this lack of care that was doomed to failure. Now I also know that I don't have such good writing skills, so it makes me feel much more relaxed. I just write the emotions I want to express without any purpose, which is fine. Even though I don't have much writing skills, some people still collect these essays I wrote. I feel that there is still a meter of sunshine and a little bit of heartbeat in my gloomy life, which makes me very satisfied.