When you are exhausted and achieve nothing, have you ever regretted that you were so passionate that you were far away from home, that you were unwilling to fly into the flames, that you gave up everything and started over?
I kept thinking later that if I had not followed Lin Haoer and left Qingshui Village, I would have been like Xiaohua, doing laundry and cooking every day, sowing in spring and harvesting in autumn, marrying a big man from the neighboring village, having two or three fat babies, and spending my life happily.
Or, I didn't follow Xiao Tianmu and leave the Xicheng Prince's Mansion, and become a little girl who lives her own life, cleaning the court every day, getting married to a servant when I get older, and living my life diligently.
Or, if I didn't accompany Zhou Yingying to leave the Phoenix Terrace, I could also be a clever embroiderer, working from sunrise to sunset, with the strong winds, ice rain, blue flowers and red leaves of Jianhu Lake sharing my life with me.
If. . . . . .
But there are no ifs in life.
If I had not taken the first step back then, I would have lived an ordinary and stable life, instead of running around and wandering around, with ups and downs, joys and sorrows.
But do I regret it?
Maybe there will be a moment.
But I always feel in my heart that I have no lover, my heart is wandering, and my hometown is far away.
But everything came crashing down when I saw Zhong Jiyu again ten years later. Looking into his warm and smiling eyes, I suddenly wanted to get rid of my life and get married.