I staggered to the bedroom and stared at the photo with Jin Xin on the wall.
"I know you are leaving, I know you don't belong here, and I know you don't belong to me, but I just can't help it, I can't help thinking about you, I can't help liking you, I can't even help loving you. What should I do? What should I do? You taught me to find myself, but I can't find you."
I threw away the beer bottle, climbed onto the bed, curled up in a ball, and buried my head in my knees. The scenes from the past kept changing in my mind.
"What should I do... I remember it more clearly."
"If you can't forget it, don't force it."
My heart trembled, I looked up at Jin Xin standing at the door, and cried even louder, "I may be mentally ill! I'm hallucinating."
"This is not a hallucination."
I was stunned for a moment and looked at Jin Xin who was slowly walking towards me. His big warm hands slowly touched my face and wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes. I stretched out my hand and held him tightly, fearing that he would disappear in the next second. I raised my head and mustered up the courage to kiss him. My hands began to become restless.
Jin Xin held my hand that was inside his shirt, "Hibiscus, I can't help it..."