My father was gay, and after many years of depression, my mother finally let go and left. But she left not only her father, but also him, the so-called "witness of love" between her mother and her father. He began to be unable to distinguish reality, and finally entered the "Fenghe Sanatorium", a good mental hospital, after repeated attempts at psychological therapy failed. He was just 18 years old that year and had just finished his college entrance examination three months ago.
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I often wonder, what if I die? What should I do? But it's so strange. If I die, I will be gone. Then this world will be fake to me. If so, why am I alive? Why does the world exist? Although materialism is a fact, does materialism make sense if it is not idealism?
~~~~~~~~~~So regarding this issue, I would like to dig another hole, but
My biggest wish right now is to finish this article. Then I will feel great about myself, haha.