Why? Why do I have to endure so much? I'm not even 20 yet! I can't die once, and I can't die twice. How long will I have to bear it? Everything is my fault, what did I do wrong! Why did God do this to me, why did my father do this to me? I know that although my mother didn't say it, she was definitely angry at me! Why are you doing this to me? Why can't I always escape? Why? ? ? ? I am willing to use all the rest of my life to exchange for a moment of peace and happiness before February 19th! God, please, can you? Can you please let me go for now? I'm so tired and hard? Please give me a little bit of happiness, okay? You have tortured me for 19 years, and you want me to spend my 20s in peace before leaving this world that always gives me sadness and pain? OK? Is all this my fault? If I was wrong, I only did one thing wrong and that was my birth, but was that something I could control? If I could choose, I would rather never appear in this world!
Why? Why do I have to endure so much when I am less than 20 years old? I have been beaten and scolded since I was sensible. I ran away from home when I was 16 and attempted suicide. My parents divorced when I was 17. When I was 18, my father ignored me when I returned home during the summer vacation. I had no food for three days. When I turned 19, I wandered alone on the street on the third day of the Lunar New Year. A bowl of wontons was my birthday party. I didn't dare to let my mother know. Before the age of 20, the so-called father was making trouble all day long. He would come to the door every day, cut off electricity and water, threatened and extorted money, broke open the door and smashed the glass, and even threw rocks and smashed the glass on New Year's Eve. It makes me feel like a frightened bird every day, suspicious and nervous. Is this how people live? I was so scared, so scared. I couldn't sleep every day. I didn't sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning. In the dead of night, I always curled up in the corner and wanted to cry! I hate it! I hate it! I hate God for being so blind! I'm in so much pain but it doesn't let me die and continue to live and suffer! In the past, I could temporarily forget my worries and be happy every day, but now I have accumulated too much pain, and this time I was stimulated again, and I still can't stand the explosion!