For Li Lai, it was the Tower of Life that he took the initiative and was extremely unwilling to step on.
As I walked farther and farther in this tower, and the brilliance of the things I had hoped for in the past was covered more and more by dust, my original reluctance started to stir again.
Despair drags people into the abyss where they no longer struggle, and deprives people of the will to actively struggle. Since there is no despair yet, and it is not desperate enough to just close your eyes and pay homage to the dead souls of yourself, then why not try to go back?
Walk back there, face the forgotten past, maybe throw it all away and start over?