Exclusively published in Jinjiang and any reprint is declined.
Copywriting: At night, please listen to me telling you a story. (Involving ghosts, ghosts, witchcraft and zombies, please proceed with caution)
Reader comments
Let me first write down my thoughts after reading the first one: 1. The language is not concise enough. How should I put it? If there are twenty words in a sentence, almost half of them are adjectives. Too many adjectives make it look a bit difficult, so try to simplify it. 2. I read it twice before I could understand the characters and language changes. However, I saw that the author stated in the final "The author has something to say" that the pace of your article is slow and the updates are irregular.
So when I see this, I will insert a sentence first: the first page of the article has too many gorgeous words and the language is a bit procrastinating. In addition, the author said at the end that this article is not updated regularly, the plot is slow to fight against the war, and the characters have few dialogues... I think this may be the reason why this article does not have many clicks and few collections.
For me personally, I can almost tell how much control the author has over his article by reading the first chapter of the article. Some authors are very tight at first, and some are very loose at first. This article is too tight at first. Rather, how many readers an article can attract depends entirely on the first three chapters, or even the first chapter, because this is critical. Then, the author, most of your descriptions in this chapter are dedicated to the scene, whether it is the sky, clouds, ocean, air, sea breeze, food from the inside to the outside, from the appearance to the taste... Everything is left out, and it is indeed described very carefully. But after excluding all these descriptions, how much content is left in the first chapter? To explain in one sentence, "Lucci gave the food Kaku gave him to a black cat."
As for the procrastination and excessive modification of language, I will use a passage in your second chapter as an example, as follows:
"Under the push of the little creature, the white porcelain cup containing black tea spun a few times on the table and then broke away from the air. It hugged the ground intimately and was shattered into pieces. The white mist that curled up soon disappeared into the air, as if it had never existed. Only the faint fragrance of tea still floating in the air bore witness to this accident."
In fact, what this passage describes is that a white porcelain cup filled with black tea fell to the ground and broke. I don't know if I use this passage as an example. Can the author accept it? Of course, everyone has their own way of writing. I just wrote down my thoughts and told the author, and I hope Haihan will understand.
The reason why I wrote this before reading five chapters is that I feel that I must tell the author about this first. I also have two suggestions as follows:
1. I went back to the home page to look at your chapter arrangement. Your first chapter is called "Partners" and is divided into parts 1, 2, and 3. Each chapter is about 1,500 words. In fact, I think this should be the first chapter. A chapter of about 4,500 words is divided into three paragraphs, which is really too short. Some readers who are not used to the slow pace may give up after clicking the first chapter. This is a suggestion for you. Each chapter must have substantial content, which can be less than 2,000 words, but it must have content to write and a purpose to express.
2. It is a bit difficult to write anime fanfics, especially for super cool comics like OP. Almost every character in it will be familiar to anyone who has read it, so the author has to work hard, because after reading three chapters in a row, they are all extremely descriptive of the situation, and the characterization is relatively sparse, but the most important thing in reading the work is the characters.
I patted a few bricks to express my feelings. I hope the author can understand. Finally, thank you for your article, which gives me something to read.
---------------
I saw the article you posted downstairs in Bishui, so I came over to write a review. I also put this review in the building in Bishui. If the author doesn't mind, please be sure to go back to the building where I opened and leave a message, because I have a good reputation~~laugh.
Comment: There is wind in the south
Welcome back from the end of the exam~~La la la,,, come on~~
Let me first write down my thoughts after reading the first one: 1. The language is not concise enough. How should I put it? If there are twenty words in a sentence, almost half of them are adjectives. Too many adjectives make it look a bit difficult, so try to simplify it. 2. I read it twice before I could understand the characters and language changes. However, I saw that the author stated in the final "The author has something to say" that the pace of your article is slow and the updates are irregular. So when I see this, I will insert a sentence first: the first page of the article has too many gorgeous words and the language is a bit procrastinating. In addition, the author said at the end that this article is not updated regularly, the plot is slow to fight against the war, and the characters have few dialogues... I think this may be the reason why this article does not have many clicks and few collections. For me personally, I can almost tell how much control the author has over his article by reading the first chapter of the article. Some authors are very tight at first, and some are very loose at first. This article is too tight at first. Rather, how many readers an article can attract depends entirely on the first three chapters, or even the first chapter, because this is critical. Then, the author, most of your descriptions in this chapter are dedicated to the scene, whether it is the sky, clouds, ocean, air, sea breeze, food from the inside to the outside, from the appearance to the taste... Everything is left out, and it is indeed described very carefully. But after excluding all these descriptions, how much content is left in the first chapter? To explain in one sentence, "Lucci gave the food Kaku gave him to a black cat." As for the procrastination and excessive modification of language, I will use a passage in your second chapter as an example, as follows: "Under the push of the little creature, the white porcelain cup containing black tea spun a few times on the table and then broke away from the air. It hugged the ground intimately and was shattered into pieces. The white mist that curled up soon disappeared into the air, as if it had never existed. Only the faint fragrance of tea still floating in the air bore witness to this accident." In fact, what this passage describes is that a white porcelain cup filled with black tea fell to the ground and broke. I don't know if I use this passage as an example. Can the author accept it? Of course, everyone has their own way of writing. I just wrote down my thoughts and told the author, and I hope Haihan will understand. The reason why I wrote this before reading five chapters is that I feel that I must tell the author about this first. I also have two suggestions as follows: 1. I went back to the home page to look at your chapter arrangement. Your first chapter is called "Partners" and is divided into parts 1, 2, and 3. Each chapter is about 1,500 words. In fact, I think this should be the first chapter. A chapter of about 4,500 words is divided into three paragraphs, which is really too short. Some readers who are not used to the slow pace may give up after clicking the first chapter. This is a suggestion for you. Each chapter must have substantial content, which can be less than 2,000 words, but it must have content to write and a purpose to express. 2. It is a bit difficult to write anime fanfics, especially for super cool comics like OP. Almost every character in it will be familiar to anyone who has read it, so the author has to work hard, because after reading three chapters in a row, they are all extremely descriptive of the situation, and the characterization is relatively sparse, but the most important thing in reading the work is the characters. I patted a few bricks to express my feelings. I hope the author can understand. Finally, thank you for your article, which gives me something to read. --------------- I saw the article you posted downstairs in Bishui, so I came over to write a review. I also put this review in the building in Bishui. If the author doesn't mind, please be sure to go back to the building where I opened and leave a message, because I have a good reputation~~laugh. Comment: There is wind in the south
Welcome back from the end of the exam~~La la la,,, come on~~