"I suddenly want to be a good child. I want to quit porn, be well-behaved and sensible, neither fighting nor grabbing + not making noises. I want to be like my aunt's daughter, with excellent grades + long hair. I want to clean up and organize the disrupted work and rest time and interpersonal relationships. + I still smoke and drink, and lose my temper. + I don't have the ability to study hard, and I don't have the heart to grow waist-length hair. I still have random thoughts every night due to insomnia, and she drove you away without retaining her."
The wind blew open the slightly closed window, blowing the notebook lying on the desk, and the sunlight shone on this passage.