Spicy Tang

Di Qing, who accidentally traveled to the Tang Dynasty, casually sprinkled a few chili seeds, triggering a "red tide" that swept through the Tang Dynasty. . . . . . ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty: "If you don't have chili peppers, you won't go to court. Di Aiqing, the chili sauce you gave me has been eaten by my concubines. Without the chili sauce, now I can't eat well, can't sleep, am listless in court, and can't even dote on my concubines. What do you think I should do? As long as Aiqing can get me chili peppers, I will agree to any condition you have!" Di Qing: "Your Majesty, are you serious about this?" Tang Xuanzong: "You have no joke!" Di Qing: "As long as the emperor agrees to open the harem and let me paint a piece of body art for the imperial concubine, I will risk my life to travel all over the world, even if I explore the Nine Netherworlds and the Underworld, I will find such delicious food as chili pepper for the emperor!" Tang Xuanzong: "Here comes someone! Drag this thief out and chop him with swords... Uh... Wait... Gao Lishi, please... Take Di Aiqing to Huaqing Palace!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yang Yuhuan: "Brother Qing, give me another can of 'Brother Qing's brand chili sauce', and I will dance with you!" Di Qing: "No, unless you let me... Hehehehe... Let me draw a piece of body art! Otherwise, there is no need to discuss it!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Li Bai: "There is bright moonlight in the sky, and the bed is covered with chili peppers; I dip my chopsticks into the chili sauce, and drink the noodle soup with my head. Brother Di, the box is full of poems, and the beauty in the bed is no match for two bowls of chili soup. As long as Brother Di spreads Taibai's bed with chili peppers, Taibai will compose a hundred poems for Brother Di." Di Qing: "You have a beautiful idea, do you know? You are the poet I hate the most. In elementary school, because I didn't recite your poems, I was often made to stand and slapped on the palms of my hands by the teacher. Humph, you want pepper? OK, recite Laozi's Tao Te Ching!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Du Fu: "When you are at the top of the mountain, there are no chili peppers in sight; if you want to taste delicious food, you can only look for Mr. Di!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Du Mu: "When a red concubine laughs, no one knows it's Chili Pepper." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Li Chun Yuan Chun Ni: "Lang Jun, I am willing to accompany you for ten nights for free in exchange for a spoonful of chili sauce!" Di Qing: "Is there such a good thing? I just want to say, who else? Please contact me immediately! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ***Girls, if you want to squirt, please squirt lightly; if you want to love, please love deeply; if you want to kiss, please French wet kiss; if you want to rip, please go out and turn left*** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------