Despair was his best friend, one he would never abandon.
Originally, all he wanted was a sense of certainty.
But the person he asked for didn't seem to want to give him that thing.
"If you know you're gay, don't act arrogant."
Why did he have to go through a memory like this?
This is not the development process he wants, nor is it the ending he wants.
If there is no benefit to crying, then only laughter, and only laughter in front of the other person, can prevent a total defeat.
Conception: