In the beginning, I was very good at pretending and I enjoyed pretending. I felt that I could live a good life in this world. However, under the expectations of others, as I met more and more people, I had not yet found my value. I began to have auditory hallucinations and met things that could give me the power to kill. But I became more and more disappointed with the world. I didn't know how to live. I chose to give up love and give up. I felt that everything was hateful and I decided to commit suicide.