The real title of this article is: Toilet Horror: Three Hundred Blows of Death, Crying in the Toilet, Tick-tick in the Toilet, and Countryside Love from Time Travel.
The author is purely teasing, and this article is purely a spoof. If there are any similarities, you must have seen it wrong.
At this time you need: Gu's eye drops. A drop of eye drops changed my appearance. Since I took her eye drops, I can no longer see my eyes. Mom doesn't have to worry about my myopia anymore. It's great, haha.