Master Xiu: "I'm so beautiful! Why don't you all want [beep] me!!"
Sanji: "Sorry, I'm straight."
Zoro: "I'm sorry, I'm a straight man."
Luffy: "I'm sorry, my true love is meat."
Cannon fodder one, two and three...: "Sorry, we are straight men!"
Xiuye: "Why did QAQ let me travel through time and be a man in One Piece!!! Please wear a danmei manga! Please be gay!"