She is a 'person' living in darkness, a cold 'person'. In her world, there is no good or evil, no beauty or ugliness, only the difference between the dead and the living.
But even like this, she also longs to have what those people call 'love'. In that firelight, she finds the love that belongs only to her.
In return for her dedicated care, she escaped;
What she earned for her desperate efforts to protect him was her disgust;
She was tired. She no longer wanted to drag her broken body around the line of death. She no longer wanted to turn her mind with nothing to think about. She didn't want to think about it anymore...
But why did you come to me again? Have you forgotten?
I'm dead...