He changed his appearance and turned himself into another person to be his substitute, but he fell into physical and mental collapse again. In July, he was dressed in white and outshone the snow, with a pair of empty eyes. "I held my heart in both hands and sent it to you. I watched you crush it alive. Then I picked it up and put it together before sending it up. You treat me like this. Are you too ruthless or am I too mean?"