This was a work submitted for submission in November by Tianxia Santieba, but it was not accepted.
This article is not so much a short story as it is a chapter in a long novel.
Because it doesn't feel like a short story: the time, location, characters, and events are all weak, and there's no story structure.
I can't bear to delete it, so I just keep it here as a souvenir.
As well as various shortcomings and comments from friends...
Don't know the trade-offs
The sense of rhythm is wrong, the sense of urgency cannot be read, and the description is described by appearance.
Insufficient understanding of the role
The architecture details are not handled properly, and the proportion between description and architecture is not good.
The dialogue is lengthy and wordy.
The subject is not prominent enough
Too many long descriptions
... Well, I'm actually quite happy to be told that. I must be a jerk.
Intention:
Can't it be expanded into a longer story?