Blank thoughts, empty eyes, sitting like a dead person. The red wine in the glass swayed with the swing of the wrist, an unconscious movement, but it remained unable to stop.
Physically and mentally exhausted, so tired. . .
Some fatigue cannot be relieved by sleeping, just as there are some people in life who cannot be forgotten until they are no longer seen. She will appear in your free consciousness all the time, her smile, her voice, her smell. . .
I don't know whether I miss you because I am tired or I miss you so much that I am already tired.
At times like this, I like to sit by the floor-to-ceiling windows, close to the windows. I feel like I can snuggle into her arms, which is warm and peaceful. Sometimes I think, if she didn't leave me in that way, maybe I wouldn't miss her so much? But no matter what I do, it's meaningless now.
Everything will be fine tomorrow. When I walk out of the dark night and this room, no one knows that this 188cm tall man will still feel the warmth of his mother's arms through the window.
At least that's what I thought during those days. As for the subsequent changes, I could not have predicted it.