The world is not beautiful, but it is also extremely beautiful
Original work: Keiichi Shigurezawa
There have been many translations of this novel, but I think it doesn't hurt to have one more~
Reader comments
It can be seen that the girl's writing is still a bit raw. Many paragraphs in the first chapter are not used naturally enough. Some sentences describing the scene are a bit hard from the perspective of God. For example, "The woman raised her arm and blew heavily on the fallen leaves in her palms, and the fallen leaves in her hands fluttered and danced again. Unfortunately, within a few seconds, they fell slowly again. The woman seemed unwilling to give in,..." Such a sentence structure is not very attractive.
The word "only see" is best used when the plot is tense. If it is deleted, it may be smoother.
The girl's scene transitions are not very natural either. It's better to polish the writing. The plot is not full of words and has not been developed yet. Please continue to work hard.
There is also an outline. The outline is not very suitable for JJ's writing style. It is still a problem. It is a bit jerky. Please work on it.
Send a bunch of flowers.
My child, look at it, I don't even want to live anymore. Who said my message should not exceed two words? That's too much~!
My dear, keep up the good work!
I'm looking forward to the progress of the adults.
It can be seen that the girl's writing is still a bit raw. Many paragraphs in the first chapter are not used naturally enough. Some sentences describing the scene are a bit hard from the perspective of God. For example, "The woman raised her arm and blew heavily on the fallen leaves in her palms, and the fallen leaves in her hands fluttered and danced again. Unfortunately, within a few seconds, they fell slowly again. The woman seemed unwilling to give in,..." Such a sentence structure is not very attractive. The word "only see" is best used when the plot is tense. If it is deleted, it may be smoother. The girl's scene transitions are not very natural either. It's better to polish the writing. The plot is not full of words and has not been developed yet. Please continue to work hard. There is also an outline. The outline is not very suitable for JJ's writing style. It is still a problem. It is a bit jerky. Please work on it. Send a bunch of flowers.
My child, look at it, I don't even want to live anymore. Who said my message should not exceed two words? That's too much~!
My dear, keep up the good work!
I'm looking forward to the progress of the adults.