Believe it or not? Maybe it's better that you don't know some stories, because once you know them, the Pandora's box of inner desires will suddenly fall, and you may no longer be able to adapt to the ordinary life of ordinary people.
Maybe one day, someone told you this is a story about something, and you thought it was just that. But one day later, by chance, you read the story yourself, and you will find that it is not what you heard at all.
As for your feelings, maybe you don't want to describe them.
Because the true inner feelings cannot be described in words.
Also because, even if you describe it, others won't be able to understand it.