I don't know what happened, but I just wore it, and I wore it to a pretty perverted place. There is a man in white clothes, white shoes and white hair who is determined to dress himself up
The old man who became Snow White said that I was his disciple and the new hope of the Bagua Sect...
Reader comments
The family members are the most loving~~~XD~~~
Come on Yoyo~~Happy New Year~XD
Laughing to death, floated away. . . .
Dada, the writing is really good. After reading Dada's article, I have more resentment. I hope to see Wu Liuyi's future, I hope to see the present of history, I hope to see Bai Tiejun, Gan Xiaoning, Lao Ma, Gao Cheng, many, many people, what is the life of those who have been out of sight, and those who will be out of sight, Dada.
"Yeah!" Kurapika responded softly with a gentle look on his face: "It can't live without its parents, so I just keep it."/Is this the sentence.?~Love~~
Good looking~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am commenting for mobile phone download~~~~~~~~~~~~~~·
Actually, I have always been very cute about Kyuubi. .
Hello, author! It's rare to find a BL tutor (no one else has accepted it yet), so I shamelessly accepted it.
Well, since we have talked about it in the group, here I will mainly talk about how to improve this article.
First of all, let's talk about the characters. After reading this article, the average reader may feel "broken" at first, but after thinking about it carefully, I feel that it is not OOC. Although the Tsunayoshi in this article is not the Tsunayoshi I imagined in the future, but it is a matter of personal understanding. His style and method of doing things will not make people say "Hey, how could my 27 do such a thing!" - This means that in many large articles, there will be plots similar to this, but the reason why it is well written is the quality of the writing.
To put it simply, it is the same plot and story, but the effects written by different authors are different. Some will make people think "this character can do such a thing", and some will make people think "my XX is not like this!"
Regarding the ability to control characters, I personally think that it needs to be developed slowly. Write more, practice more, experience more, read more, and you can gradually improve your writing skills.
So, regarding the plot issue - although I generally don't watch this kind of cup-like setting TUT - I won't say more here. Let's talk about it in detail next.
The girl said that the above paintings are not very understandable, so I will give some examples to illustrate them (of course, my writing style is not as good as those of the elders, so please bear with me><).
1. ["Why, you stupid Tsuna, are you like this!" Li Baoen stood up and called to Tsuna. He really couldn't stand it anymore. The idiot in front of him was no longer the same as before! He can't stand it, he can't control it, he can't understand it! You idiot who can't stand it anymore and won't show happiness or reassurance to him anymore!
In this plot, some people may think that Demon King R would not be so out of control, but I think it is not impossible for him to be angry, so I slightly modified it to make it more acceptable.
→"Zhou Gang, how did you become like this?" Li Baoen's expression became gloomy, and for the first time he did not control his emotions and allowed himself to question him coldly.
He couldn't accept... Couldn't stand the stupid Tsuna who looked like this in front of him, couldn't stand this - he couldn't control it, couldn't understand him, couldn't stand this Sawada Tsunayoshi who no longer showed joy and trust in his eyes!
(Covering face and running away...) Okay, I know my writing is not very good, but will it look better this way? Wouldn't it make people think that R is a person who yells randomly and has a lot of mood changes easily?
2. ["Oops! Hey! Bai Lan, lend me your Shinliu Diaohua!" Bermuda shouted to Bai Lan nervously.
"Ah! Okay!" Bai Lan stared at Tsuna's burning form and replied calmly.
Regarding this, the description is not quite right. Although it is not impossible for Bermuda and Bailan to be nervous, such a description method will make people feel that these two people look very unreliable, and they do not have the feeling of being calm and controlling everything in the original work. Of course, I think, since it is a bland answer, it is not appropriate to use an exclamation point.
To be precise, even if the tone of these big boss characters is fierce, exclamation points are rarely used when describing them, because it is easy to create a very unstable impression. Exclamation points are suitable for characters who are lively (such as Xiaochun) or have a grumpy tone (such as S?).
→["Oops," Bermuda cursed, then turned to Bai Lan and raised his voice slightly, "Hey, Bai Lan, lend me your Shinliu Diaohua."
"Ah, yes," Byakuran replied lightly, still staring straight at Tsunayoshi.
Well, after this modification, the plot has not changed much, but it looks more in line with their image, right?
... And so on.
After writing the last part of the psychological description, it is best to read it several times to make sure it is smooth and can accurately express the character's emotions. Because of my personal ability, I won't say more ><
To sum up... Fortunately, this article is relatively short, otherwise I, a person who never watches tragedies, would never dare to click in. Another reason is that because of the writing style, it is difficult for readers to get involved in the drama, so it is difficult to understand the emotions of the characters. E has always failed to live up to the author's original intention of writing.
I hope that girls will read more fans with good writing skills, think more about it when writing, and think about it more after writing to see if they can properly express what they want to express. As time goes by, future "products" will definitely be better, come on!
[Unreliable long review shop presented by Shuina]
Come on, sir, is CP Yuki Tsuka?
Oh oh oh! It's finished. Thank you to the author for your hard work! Throw flowers!
The family members are the most loving~~~XD~~~ Come on Yoyo~~Happy New Year~XD
Laughing to death, floated away. . . .
Dada, the writing is really good. After reading Dada's article, I have more resentment. I hope to see Wu Liuyi's future, I hope to see the present of history, I hope to see Bai Tiejun, Gan Xiaoning, Lao Ma, Gao Cheng, many, many people, what is the life of those who have been out of sight, and those who will be out of sight, Dada.
"Yeah!" Kurapika responded softly with a gentle look on his face: "It can't live without its parents, so I just keep it."/Is this the sentence.?~Love~~
Good looking~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am commenting for mobile phone download~~~~~~~~~~~~~~·
Actually, I have always been very cute about Kyuubi. .
Hello, author! It's rare to find a BL tutor (no one else has accepted it yet), so I shamelessly accepted it. Well, since we have talked about it in the group, here I will mainly talk about how to improve this article. First of all, let's talk about the characters. After reading this article, the average reader may feel "broken" at first, but after thinking about it carefully, I feel that it is not OOC. Although the Tsunayoshi in this article is not the Tsunayoshi I imagined in the future, but it is a matter of personal understanding. His style and method of doing things will not make people say "Hey, how could my 27 do such a thing!" - This means that in many large articles, there will be plots similar to this, but the reason why it is well written is the quality of the writing. To put it simply, it is the same plot and story, but the effects written by different authors are different. Some will make people think "this character can do such a thing", and some will make people think "my XX is not like this!" Regarding the ability to control characters, I personally think that it needs to be developed slowly. Write more, practice more, experience more, read more, and you can gradually improve your writing skills. So, regarding the plot issue - although I generally don't watch this kind of cup-like setting TUT - I won't say more here. Let's talk about it in detail next. The girl said that the above paintings are not very understandable, so I will give some examples to illustrate them (of course, my writing style is not as good as those of the elders, so please bear with me><). 1. ["Why, you stupid Tsuna, are you like this!" Li Baoen stood up and called to Tsuna. He really couldn't stand it anymore. The idiot in front of him was no longer the same as before! He can't stand it, he can't control it, he can't understand it! You idiot who can't stand it anymore and won't show happiness or reassurance to him anymore! In this plot, some people may think that Demon King R would not be so out of control, but I think it is not impossible for him to be angry, so I slightly modified it to make it more acceptable. →"Zhou Gang, how did you become like this?" Li Baoen's expression became gloomy, and for the first time he did not control his emotions and allowed himself to question him coldly. He couldn't accept... Couldn't stand the stupid Tsuna who looked like this in front of him, couldn't stand this - he couldn't control it, couldn't understand him, couldn't stand this Sawada Tsunayoshi who no longer showed joy and trust in his eyes! (Covering face and running away...) Okay, I know my writing is not very good, but will it look better this way? Wouldn't it make people think that R is a person who yells randomly and has a lot of mood changes easily? 2. ["Oops! Hey! Bai Lan, lend me your Shinliu Diaohua!" Bermuda shouted to Bai Lan nervously. "Ah! Okay!" Bai Lan stared at Tsuna's burning form and replied calmly. Regarding this, the description is not quite right. Although it is not impossible for Bermuda and Bailan to be nervous, such a description method will make people feel that these two people look very unreliable, and they do not have the feeling of being calm and controlling everything in the original work. Of course, I think, since it is a bland answer, it is not appropriate to use an exclamation point. To be precise, even if the tone of these big boss characters is fierce, exclamation points are rarely used when describing them, because it is easy to create a very unstable impression. Exclamation points are suitable for characters who are lively (such as Xiaochun) or have a grumpy tone (such as S?). →["Oops," Bermuda cursed, then turned to Bai Lan and raised his voice slightly, "Hey, Bai Lan, lend me your Shinliu Diaohua." "Ah, yes," Byakuran replied lightly, still staring straight at Tsunayoshi. Well, after this modification, the plot has not changed much, but it looks more in line with their image, right? ... And so on. After writing the last part of the psychological description, it is best to read it several times to make sure it is smooth and can accurately express the character's emotions. Because of my personal ability, I won't say more >< To sum up... Fortunately, this article is relatively short, otherwise I, a person who never watches tragedies, would never dare to click in. Another reason is that because of the writing style, it is difficult for readers to get involved in the drama, so it is difficult to understand the emotions of the characters. E has always failed to live up to the author's original intention of writing. I hope that girls will read more fans with good writing skills, think more about it when writing, and think about it more after writing to see if they can properly express what they want to express. As time goes by, future "products" will definitely be better, come on! [Unreliable long review shop presented by Shuina]
Come on, sir, is CP Yuki Tsuka?
Oh oh oh! It's finished. Thank you to the author for your hard work! Throw flowers!