When she was young, she read Lu Xun's books and lamented the love story between him and Xu Guangping. Lu Xun wrote a poem for him: "We have been hand in hand for ten years to share hardships and dangers. It is also sad to wet each other with foam. Chatting and drawing pictures soothes our tired eyes. In this, we know the joys and sorrows." For ten years hand in hand, we know the joys and sorrows.
At that time, she always felt that love was the most touching word in the world. No matter how much hardship it takes, ten years of working together is worth it.
Later, when she was older, she heard stories about Shen Congwen and Zhang Zhaohe. Shen Congwen said, "I have walked on bridges in many places, seen clouds many times, and drank many kinds of wine, but I have only loved one person at his best age." He felt inferior and uneasy about his love for Zhang Zhaohe, but he never regretted it. It was the same love story, but she no longer envied it, but felt more regretful. Shen Congwen's turbulent love locked others, but also trapped himself. This view of love has never been something she appreciated.
She originally thought that she would never do anything so careless as a flower, until she met him. From the beginning, she knew that he was not Shen Congwen, so she was willing to be Xu Guangping, willing to sacrifice in love just for ten years of hand-in-hand, but he remained calm and self-possessed, and always treated each other with the courtesy of teacher and student. But she began to be unable to control herself, and her reason and objectivity were thrown behind her. The turbulent love overwhelmed her, and the original Anting was no longer traceable. At that time, she understood Shen Congwen's lack of regret.
It turns out that love can be just a matter of one person. She didn't need his response, she just wanted to be by his side.