The heroine, who does not know ninjutsu, relies on her business talent, strong power tactics, and invincible Chinese Kung Fu.
A rose revolution has started in the world of Naruto!
First, he helped Gaara consolidate the Kazekage's regime,
Then he went to Orochimaru's lair to cause trouble,
Later, he joined the "Akatsuki" organization and became the financial envoy behind "Akatsuki".
After everything calmed down, the heroine said sadly: "I just want to fall in love, why is it so difficult?"...
.
Reader comments
?
Why is the back one locked?
Happy ending, I like it~~~~~~
This type of novel all starts out pretty much the same, but it feels pretty good!
Looking forward to the next climax! ! ! !
The author should work harder! ! ! ! !
Why do what Bilian said sound more and more like what Xiaobaihua said? ? Come on~
Then, let me ask you weakly, what is that cozy little theater? ?
I want to see h...
Forum Nuan Wenjun is here~
The article has been collected~Read it slowly~
Come on~
Welcome to Xiaoqin's home~□//www. Jjwxc. Net/onebook. Php? Novelid=726124
Scattered flowers~
55555~`The empty mirror is so cute~~5555 my tears~
Spread some flowers. It's actually very touching. This kind of joke
Long comment on the poisonous tongue of sister Ashin:
First of all, at the beginning, there is no description of the Red City.
"In the early years of Yuchu, the world was at peace" What does this mean?
If you want to write about supernatural monsters and ghosts, I think you need to set the stage here. It is best to have a darker style to attract readers.
Then, there are too many complaints and the style is too modern.
Do you think this is tutoring money? Do you think readers will be happy if you are so funny? You are wrong.
Anyway, I don't seem to want to laugh at all.
How should I put it? The characters you wrote are too exposed, too unrestrained, and too... Unmanly.
①. "The time is ripe! Mo Chi shouted with a small flag in his heart, with a hidden smile on his lips,"
For example, this sentence, don't you think this attack is a bit too cheerful? And the following "a hidden smile hanging on the corner of the mouth", he has hidden it, why is it still there? ! You can write "There is a smile on the corner of the mouth", or "There is a smile on the corner of the mouth", but please do not write "There is a hidden smile on the corner of the mouth" ORZ
②. "Bah." Then the next paragraph said, "The beauty took a sip in her heart."
The two bahs are too close to each other and are repetitive. You can replace the second one with "spit". Wouldn't that be better?
③. "'Master, please forgive me for being rude, but may I ask who this girl is?'"
I have seen too many articles that describe the beauty or tenderness of feeling in this way. To put it bluntly, I don't like this kind of feeling at all.
The reason why we love BL is because he is two men. If you just write him as a woman, is there any difference between him and a woman except that he has no breasts and an extra organ?
I suggest you describe his appearance a little bit. No one will know if you don't tell. You can't always bring your perspective and use the title "beauty". This is a mistake that newbies can easily make, having too many feelings and a God's perspective.
④. "I'm a man!"
It's okay to yell, but what you're saying is really... It's the same sentence. Do you think you're writing a time-travel novel? !
⑤. "'Whatever, they are all good things anyway.' Gu Liu said with a smile."
I think there is something wrong with this sentence.
Even for a child who is only 12 years old, this is someone else's house after all, so it seems a little casual.
Gu Liu, you said you wanted to write about a tsundere, but I always felt that he was acting coquettishly and was neither calm nor arrogant enough.
You can't write about these men from your own thoughts and perspectives. You need to "watch" from the sidelines and "see" their subsequent development. Your role is to guide and be involved.
That's what I said, just listen to it. This is a bit difficult for newcomers, and I may not be able to do it myself. But I am here to give you suggestions and criticism, so I have to do my duty.
⑥. Peach blossom eyes emphasize too much.
After watching it for so long, I have the impression of a pair of peach blossom eyes. What do you think? I had no idea what he looked like, except that he looked like a woman.
⑦. "Mo Chi was sulking in his heart. The beauty's performance is really cute. Mr. Decisive, I like this kind of beauty the best, hahaha."
So superficial.
You said at the beginning that you have been paying attention to Gong An for a long time, so you should like him in more aspects and know more about him before you dare to take action. But your words broke my expectations. What I feel now is that most of what he likes is beauty.
⑧. "'It has nothing to do with the current Mohist school!'"
The two Mohists repeated themselves. There is also an air of concealment. Anyone who is not a fool can tell that they are the Mo family.
⑨. "'If you don't mind, just call me Brother Gu'"
Father-in-law's attitude.
Seeing this, two thoughts usually arise: 1. Father Gu knows that Xiao Gong has evil intentions towards his son, and he deliberately spreads the seniority or knows his identity for other reasons; 2. Father Gu doesn't know Xiao Gong's intentions, but only has a good impression of him because of tea.
I can accept the first one that Father Gu is a scheming boss, but I can't accept the other one. The answer is obvious. I don't even want to say it anymore.
Furthermore, the catastrophe that suddenly appeared in your third chapter, as well as Mo Chi's sentence "going against heaven", were written too abruptly. You did not intend to give us a surprise, but it was imposed by a sudden change in the idea of writing the article.
So I was neither surprised nor happy. I looked at it very calmly and very disappointed.
Finally, to summarize the above: the adultery develops too quickly, there is not enough foreshadowing, there is not enough character description, there are too many dialogues, the style is too modern, the writing seems childish, etc...
PS: This is the venomous criticism you want. Don't abandon the article because you don't have confidence in yourself. My ultimate goal is to inspire you, come on.
——My beloved sister =3=
- -Picture... Who gave it to me...
Jin Fulis is the male protagonist and there are so few stories. If you have any, can you recommend more?
I didn't grow up with you,
Then I will accompany you later.
Even if I turn into a butterfly, I will be with you.
Didn't keep his promise,
Then become your own secret guard.
Waiting for you - happiness.
This,
wish of love, wish of heart
Regret. Never.
That Luanye seems to be very adulterous~ Well, not bad~ Please write more, please write more~
It turns out that the longevity cloth has this effect, and a large bottle of reassuring pill... Mo.
Hahahahahaha, happy Singles' Day! Burn the heretics! What a great FFF team!
After watching it, I feel a little depressed, but I still feel good. I want to watch the extras.............
To be honest, I almost had a schizophrenia while watching it. I felt a little dizzy as I was wandering between the present and the past. Then, I thought the writing was quite beautiful. When can this intention be made clear? This sentence impressed me the most
The child is weak, but he is not suitable... Indeed
The stones in the latrine are so stupid! ... It's smelly and hard to pick up, it's stupid?? Wrong!
A flying knife......
I haven't read the same article online for a long time, and I clicked on this one when I was randomly searching for books~
I was really surprised, but I was attracted by the copywriting! !
Feel free to add as many chapters as you like~ Take a bow
It feels really bad to end all of a sudden. . . There was no reaction at all. .
Ah, it's finally over ( ⊙ o ⊙ )...
I feel like I really haven't seen enough~~~The little girl is so fierce! = =
Asking for a whoring male god~whoring a male god~~(*^__^*)
The chess game ended quickly. The Prime Minister's chess skills were not very high, and Zuo Wei's indiscretion allowed him to lose too badly. Regarding the loss, the Prime Minister obviously didn't mind too much. He still knew how much he weighed. It was good that it wasn't a disastrous defeat. He sighed with relief: "Master Shindo, your chess skills are indeed superb." This was a sincere admiration. I'm afraid no one can compare to him for his persistence in chess. .
It should be Master Fujiwara, right?
Uh... Didn't you see my reply? ?
Haha, then write something eye-catching, please send it to the bottom of the article, thank you O(∩_∩)O~~
Happy New Year~~~~Happy New Year~~~~Spread flowers~~~~~~~~
There is no update yet, so hurry up.
After reading the whole book, I felt that the ending was too rushed and I wish there were more extra chapters.
Actually... Infinite Villains are very good looking...
? Why is the back one locked?
Happy ending, I like it~~~~~~
This type of novel all starts out pretty much the same, but it feels pretty good! Looking forward to the next climax! ! ! ! The author should work harder! ! ! ! !
Why do what Bilian said sound more and more like what Xiaobaihua said? ? Come on~
Then, let me ask you weakly, what is that cozy little theater? ?
I want to see h...
Forum Nuan Wenjun is here~ The article has been collected~Read it slowly~ Come on~ Welcome to Xiaoqin's home~□//www. Jjwxc. Net/onebook. Php? Novelid=726124 Scattered flowers~
55555~`The empty mirror is so cute~~5555 my tears~
Spread some flowers. It's actually very touching. This kind of joke
Long comment on the poisonous tongue of sister Ashin: First of all, at the beginning, there is no description of the Red City. "In the early years of Yuchu, the world was at peace" What does this mean? If you want to write about supernatural monsters and ghosts, I think you need to set the stage here. It is best to have a darker style to attract readers. Then, there are too many complaints and the style is too modern. Do you think this is tutoring money? Do you think readers will be happy if you are so funny? You are wrong. Anyway, I don't seem to want to laugh at all. How should I put it? The characters you wrote are too exposed, too unrestrained, and too... Unmanly. ①. "The time is ripe! Mo Chi shouted with a small flag in his heart, with a hidden smile on his lips," For example, this sentence, don't you think this attack is a bit too cheerful? And the following "a hidden smile hanging on the corner of the mouth", he has hidden it, why is it still there? ! You can write "There is a smile on the corner of the mouth", or "There is a smile on the corner of the mouth", but please do not write "There is a hidden smile on the corner of the mouth" ORZ ②. "Bah." Then the next paragraph said, "The beauty took a sip in her heart." The two bahs are too close to each other and are repetitive. You can replace the second one with "spit". Wouldn't that be better? ③. "'Master, please forgive me for being rude, but may I ask who this girl is?'" I have seen too many articles that describe the beauty or tenderness of feeling in this way. To put it bluntly, I don't like this kind of feeling at all. The reason why we love BL is because he is two men. If you just write him as a woman, is there any difference between him and a woman except that he has no breasts and an extra organ? I suggest you describe his appearance a little bit. No one will know if you don't tell. You can't always bring your perspective and use the title "beauty". This is a mistake that newbies can easily make, having too many feelings and a God's perspective. ④. "I'm a man!" It's okay to yell, but what you're saying is really... It's the same sentence. Do you think you're writing a time-travel novel? ! ⑤. "'Whatever, they are all good things anyway.' Gu Liu said with a smile." I think there is something wrong with this sentence. Even for a child who is only 12 years old, this is someone else's house after all, so it seems a little casual. Gu Liu, you said you wanted to write about a tsundere, but I always felt that he was acting coquettishly and was neither calm nor arrogant enough. You can't write about these men from your own thoughts and perspectives. You need to "watch" from the sidelines and "see" their subsequent development. Your role is to guide and be involved. That's what I said, just listen to it. This is a bit difficult for newcomers, and I may not be able to do it myself. But I am here to give you suggestions and criticism, so I have to do my duty. ⑥. Peach blossom eyes emphasize too much. After watching it for so long, I have the impression of a pair of peach blossom eyes. What do you think? I had no idea what he looked like, except that he looked like a woman. ⑦. "Mo Chi was sulking in his heart. The beauty's performance is really cute. Mr. Decisive, I like this kind of beauty the best, hahaha." So superficial. You said at the beginning that you have been paying attention to Gong An for a long time, so you should like him in more aspects and know more about him before you dare to take action. But your words broke my expectations. What I feel now is that most of what he likes is beauty. ⑧. "'It has nothing to do with the current Mohist school!'" The two Mohists repeated themselves. There is also an air of concealment. Anyone who is not a fool can tell that they are the Mo family. ⑨. "'If you don't mind, just call me Brother Gu'" Father-in-law's attitude. Seeing this, two thoughts usually arise: 1. Father Gu knows that Xiao Gong has evil intentions towards his son, and he deliberately spreads the seniority or knows his identity for other reasons; 2. Father Gu doesn't know Xiao Gong's intentions, but only has a good impression of him because of tea. I can accept the first one that Father Gu is a scheming boss, but I can't accept the other one. The answer is obvious. I don't even want to say it anymore. Furthermore, the catastrophe that suddenly appeared in your third chapter, as well as Mo Chi's sentence "going against heaven", were written too abruptly. You did not intend to give us a surprise, but it was imposed by a sudden change in the idea of writing the article. So I was neither surprised nor happy. I looked at it very calmly and very disappointed. Finally, to summarize the above: the adultery develops too quickly, there is not enough foreshadowing, there is not enough character description, there are too many dialogues, the style is too modern, the writing seems childish, etc... PS: This is the venomous criticism you want. Don't abandon the article because you don't have confidence in yourself. My ultimate goal is to inspire you, come on. ——My beloved sister =3=
- -Picture... Who gave it to me...
Jin Fulis is the male protagonist and there are so few stories. If you have any, can you recommend more?
I didn't grow up with you, Then I will accompany you later. Even if I turn into a butterfly, I will be with you. Didn't keep his promise, Then become your own secret guard. Waiting for you - happiness. This, wish of love, wish of heart Regret. Never.
That Luanye seems to be very adulterous~ Well, not bad~ Please write more, please write more~
It turns out that the longevity cloth has this effect, and a large bottle of reassuring pill... Mo.
Hahahahahaha, happy Singles' Day! Burn the heretics! What a great FFF team!
After watching it, I feel a little depressed, but I still feel good. I want to watch the extras.............
To be honest, I almost had a schizophrenia while watching it. I felt a little dizzy as I was wandering between the present and the past. Then, I thought the writing was quite beautiful. When can this intention be made clear? This sentence impressed me the most
The child is weak, but he is not suitable... Indeed The stones in the latrine are so stupid! ... It's smelly and hard to pick up, it's stupid?? Wrong!
A flying knife......
I haven't read the same article online for a long time, and I clicked on this one when I was randomly searching for books~ I was really surprised, but I was attracted by the copywriting! ! Feel free to add as many chapters as you like~ Take a bow
It feels really bad to end all of a sudden. . . There was no reaction at all. .
Ah, it's finally over ( ⊙ o ⊙ )... I feel like I really haven't seen enough~~~The little girl is so fierce! = = Asking for a whoring male god~whoring a male god~~(*^__^*)
The chess game ended quickly. The Prime Minister's chess skills were not very high, and Zuo Wei's indiscretion allowed him to lose too badly. Regarding the loss, the Prime Minister obviously didn't mind too much. He still knew how much he weighed. It was good that it wasn't a disastrous defeat. He sighed with relief: "Master Shindo, your chess skills are indeed superb." This was a sincere admiration. I'm afraid no one can compare to him for his persistence in chess. . It should be Master Fujiwara, right?
Uh... Didn't you see my reply? ? Haha, then write something eye-catching, please send it to the bottom of the article, thank you O(∩_∩)O~~
Happy New Year~~~~Happy New Year~~~~Spread flowers~~~~~~~~
There is no update yet, so hurry up.
After reading the whole book, I felt that the ending was too rushed and I wish there were more extra chapters.
Actually... Infinite Villains are very good looking...
The double update is full of awesome...