-2 I really can't bear to start, so giving 0 is the limit. Cough... I'm starting to have a venomous tongue (try to = =)! The biggest problem is the plot. How should I put it? Although the plot is indeed developing, it is still like a running story. There is too little conflict between characters, or the narrative is too bland. When I was working as an editor at a cheating studio (a dark history = =), I usually judged an article. There should be small highlights within 3,000 words, and a small climax within 30,000 words. The flashback at the beginning is not bad but a bit sadistic, and picking up the bracelet is also a bit cliché, but sometimes bloody stories can really make people cute! But the subsequent plot cannot catch the readers' attention.
Twenty-five thousand words is not a small number, but there is no thick line climax, and the thick line is not obvious! I read so slowly and carefully that I didn't remember many of the plots, not to mention the other readers who read at a glance. A bunch of miscellaneous trivial things are not as interesting as one key plot that may be heart-wrenching or joyful. So it feels like there is no detail! If you write about small things, there are many in "Ten Years of Wen Ruyan", such as Ah Heng's little thoughts when he entered the agency compound, and Yan Xi's cute and domineering behavior when he was rough, they have always been either sadistic or cute and not too normal QAQ. Also, the male and female protagonists are too young at this time, which is boring. They need to quickly enter the adult emotional drama. The first part is a bit long and not interesting. It is a complete suicide for a newcomer to write something slow and hot! Next, when it comes to character issues, is the heroine a little bully or something else? Is the male protagonist aloof? Didn't understand. In addition to adjective narration, if the character's behavior, speech style and personality are highlighted, it will be more memorable. Without personality, there will be no reason for readers to like it, especially the male protagonist! The male protagonist is particularly likely to be unpopular because he is unpopular! To be honest, the male protagonist doesn't understand him at the moment.
What I have to say is that the text has no flaws! It makes people not want to complain, but there is nothing to complain about! It's a good thing that there are no surprises, but it's not fun if it's too normal! Since it's about childhood, it doesn't hurt to have more cuteness, and it can also contrast and highlight the later abuse points. I'm going to catch up on the bad stuff. Um, in the Big Bad Wolf's "White Plan", when Sha Xiaoli said to Chen Yubai about becoming a disciple, he said: "Master is above, disciple, disciple is below..." So this sentence alone triggered N comments! I'm trying to catch up with the Big Bad Wolf, he's really good at being cute and making jokes. I'm going to digress! Return!
Hey, the problem with your article is actually neither big nor small. After all, it's only over 20,000 yuan. Then give me a thumbs up for the writing style! ! The specific descriptions and details are all very good. Really, this cliffhanger is a big advantage, but the overall feeling is a bit messy and I can't find the key point (= =I still can't find the key point...). It's a bit hard to understand, but this problem is not serious. Finally, let's talk about punctuation. The sentence pattern →_→ "XXXXX." So-and-so said, "YYYYYYY." (You can't use "" at the end of The result is that the network is stuck! Then there was no more! Rewritten based on impressions! The claw machine is in a hurry! Depressed! [I love to say that the Lun family is cold and venomous? !●●
The above is what I wrote before. Let me add a few more sentences. I feel that this part is not a popular topic, so there are very few clicks. The top cadres are behind it, which is really worrying! I haven't read the new chapter yet, so I'll check it out □QA□Q.
JJ, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again! ! !
-2 I really can't bear to start, so giving 0 is the limit. Cough... I'm starting to have a venomous tongue (try to = =)! The biggest problem is the plot. How should I put it? Although the plot is indeed developing, it is still like a running story. There is too little conflict between characters, or the narrative is too bland. When I was working as an editor at a cheating studio (a dark history = =), I usually judged an article. There should be small highlights within 3,000 words, and a small climax within 30,000 words. The flashback at the beginning is not bad but a bit sadistic, and picking up the bracelet is also a bit cliché, but sometimes bloody stories can really make people cute! But the subsequent plot cannot catch the readers' attention. Twenty-five thousand words is not a small number, but there is no thick line climax, and the thick line is not obvious! I read so slowly and carefully that I didn't remember many of the plots, not to mention the other readers who read at a glance. A bunch of miscellaneous trivial things are not as interesting as one key plot that may be heart-wrenching or joyful. So it feels like there is no detail! If you write about small things, there are many in "Ten Years of Wen Ruyan", such as Ah Heng's little thoughts when he entered the agency compound, and Yan Xi's cute and domineering behavior when he was rough, they have always been either sadistic or cute and not too normal QAQ. Also, the male and female protagonists are too young at this time, which is boring. They need to quickly enter the adult emotional drama. The first part is a bit long and not interesting. It is a complete suicide for a newcomer to write something slow and hot! Next, when it comes to character issues, is the heroine a little bully or something else? Is the male protagonist aloof? Didn't understand. In addition to adjective narration, if the character's behavior, speech style and personality are highlighted, it will be more memorable. Without personality, there will be no reason for readers to like it, especially the male protagonist! The male protagonist is particularly likely to be unpopular because he is unpopular! To be honest, the male protagonist doesn't understand him at the moment. What I have to say is that the text has no flaws! It makes people not want to complain, but there is nothing to complain about! It's a good thing that there are no surprises, but it's not fun if it's too normal! Since it's about childhood, it doesn't hurt to have more cuteness, and it can also contrast and highlight the later abuse points. I'm going to catch up on the bad stuff. Um, in the Big Bad Wolf's "White Plan", when Sha Xiaoli said to Chen Yubai about becoming a disciple, he said: "Master is above, disciple, disciple is below..." So this sentence alone triggered N comments! I'm trying to catch up with the Big Bad Wolf, he's really good at being cute and making jokes. I'm going to digress! Return! Hey, the problem with your article is actually neither big nor small. After all, it's only over 20,000 yuan. Then give me a thumbs up for the writing style! ! The specific descriptions and details are all very good. Really, this cliffhanger is a big advantage, but the overall feeling is a bit messy and I can't find the key point (= =I still can't find the key point...). It's a bit hard to understand, but this problem is not serious. Finally, let's talk about punctuation. The sentence pattern →_→ "XXXXX." So-and-so said, "YYYYYYY." (You can't use "" at the end of The result is that the network is stuck! Then there was no more! Rewritten based on impressions! The claw machine is in a hurry! Depressed! [I love to say that the Lun family is cold and venomous? !●● The above is what I wrote before. Let me add a few more sentences. I feel that this part is not a popular topic, so there are very few clicks. The top cadres are behind it, which is really worrying! I haven't read the new chapter yet, so I'll check it out □QA□Q. JJ, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again, don't be stuck again! ! !
Author, I'm so happy that you replied to me ///
I want to cut out Killua's photo