Yinrui: Do you know what I'm afraid of? It's not that my father is patriarchal and has never cared about me. He is a selfish person and only loves himself. It's not that my mother talks to me hysterically and in tears every day that her man has run away with another woman. She gave birth to a son for him and still can't keep him. It's not that my scandal of accompanying guests since high school was exposed. Those men are disgusting and the money they spend makes people love...
What am I afraid of? It's loneliness, that empty feeling like countless ants gnawing at me. I don't know what I want or what I don't want. I have no ideals and love nothing. I know I'm going to die. I'm driven to death by this empty feeling. Death is a good thing. Life is a good thing. Loveless, it should be that I have never been in love with anything, but before I die, I have to live with two sides, an obedient, sensible, innocent, and docile life. In the eyes of people who have never seen my true face, I am a pure, gentle, noble virgin, how well can I disguise it? Haha, I want to tear this disgusting face to pieces and destroy this dirty body, but I only dare to think about living with two sides again tomorrow...