"I" was bedridden due to a car accident. I was bored and started writing a diary to record a lost emotional memory. "I" and he met by chance in Beijing and developed a same-sex relationship. For him, I resigned and went to Nanjing, where we had a wonderful time living together. But at the same time, we are worried about the exposure of our emotions. Coupled with the family's forced marriage and his unrestrained behavior, we are often in a conflict and struggle. In the end, because of "my" suspicion, the relationship ended for more than a year. "I" left Nanjing and returned to Beijing, trapped in painful repentance and unable to extricate myself.