He only remembered studying with Jiu Qian Sheng, remembering their agreement to meet every year, remembering his small courtyard full of peonies, and remembering him saying to take good care of himself. But I always feel that something is missing. When did he give him the fan? When did he say live well and I will always wait for you? When I close my eyes, I always seem to see peonies dyed in bewitching red with a sad color... My head hurts...